Secret // Calum Hood

38

Month 1

Calum

“Do you think she will like it?” I asked nervously as I looked in the bathroom mirror at my freshly dyed highlights.  

“It looks rad Cal.  She’s bound to love it,” Mali-Koa complimented.  I smiled.  

Tomorrow is Elena’s first visiting day, and I was hoping to go see her.  I know her father is going, but I also know he doesn’t like me very much for some unknown reason.  If I can just get directions, I can go there myself.  I need to see for my own eyes that Elena is doing okay.  I also wrote a new song, and I want to share it with her.

In the two weeks that Elena’s been gone, I’ve been doing better.  The day she left was really hard for me because I didn’t get the chance to say a proper goodbye.  I didn’t get the chance to hug her one last time, to stroke her soft hair.  But I know that this really is for the best.  I have to be strong for Elena.  I will be strong until she comes back.  When she comes back, she will be healthy, and happy.  

It just sucks because Valentine’s Day is coming up as well, and I can’t see Elena because it’s a Wednesday.  Visiting hours are on Saturdays only, and I can’t call her.  The only phone calls they can accept have to be from family.  It’s two weeks away, but if I can see Elena before then, I can at least give her something.  I know we’re not together, and it will probably be a long time before we will be, but I’ve discovered that with Elena, everything is different.  I have no problem waiting for her, as long as she is happy and healthy.

“Don’t be late for school,” Mali-Koa said as she smacked me on the back of the head.  I exclaimed an “ow!” and rubbed the spot she hit, putting my hair back in place.  I wanted to try something new, so I had Michael highlight my fringe blonde.  I thought it made me look more punk rock.  

I grabbed my bag and headed out, not looking forward to the day, but not dreading it either.  It was hard because I now have no one at school to talk to, although Hanna has been talking to me more, secretly.  I think she’s finally starting to come around, and thinking for herself.  But as long as she’s friends with Janie and Derek, I want nothing to do with her.  They gave Elena the worst time of her life for almost two and a half years.  If Hanna wants to be forgiven, she will have to prove that she isn’t like them.  She can’t talk to me and ask about Elena if she still hangs out with them.

I had every class alone now, Elena not being there to keep me company in English, Math, and Composition.  Lunch was pretty much torture.  I spent it usually eating alone at my locker, or in the empty janitor’s closet that Elena and I spent time in.  I would write more songs or finish homework.  I had nothing else to do.  

In Composition, the only class I had with Hanna, she sat next to me, instead of her usual seat by the window.  I inched away slightly, surprised by her sudden close proximity.  

“Hi Calum,” she smiled shyly.

“Hi,” I said shortly.

“Have you talked to Elena?” she asked.

“No”.

“Will you talk-”