Hamilton ~ One Shots

I Have To Leave

school fucked up me schedule again im sorry

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James woke up to a shuffling noise coming from his and Thomas's bedroom. James sniffed, breathing in the familiar scent of his house. Damn. That vanilla-berry candle is working wonders.

James sat up and let the cold air of the living room hit his chest. He quickly looked down and saw that he was completely naked. "Shit," he hissed, pulling on his boxers that were a few feet away from the couch. He slipped them on and yawned and stretched his arms.

A few thud noises caught James' attention. "Thomas?" James stood up and walked towards the bedroom. He peeked around the corner of the door frame only to see Thomas grabbing clothes and messily shoving them into a suitcase. "James, go back to bed," Thomas replied, not looking up at James. He continued to throw things into the suitcase. "Thomas, what are you doing?" James was concerned now.

A light blue sweater was flung at James. The short man caught it and slipped it on, not bothering to thank Thomas. "Why are you packing?" James made his way over to his boyfriend and attempted to place a hand on his shoulder, but was quickly swatted away. James flinched away, grabbing his own hand and cringing sadly. "Thomas-" James' breath caught in his throat. "James," Thomas stood up straight. "Go back to bed."

"No, Thomas. Tell me where you're going," James heard his voice shake. Thomas glared back at him, looking murderous. He didn't say anything. He went back to throwing clothes into the case. "Thomas!" James raised his voice, walking forward and grabbing Thomas's arm. "Please, Thomas."

"Let go of me," Thomas jerked his arm away and threw a last shirt in and zipped the case. He stood up with the case in hand, and quickly shoved past the shorter man. "Thomas! Please don't go! What did I do? I didn't mean to do anything! I swear!" James felt the tears fill his eyes and he rubbed his sleeve over his face.

"I just need space," Thomas replied, not facing James. "B- But why, Thomas? I'll always be here for you," James hated pleading for this man to stay; but he had no idea what he would do without Thomas. "We need to break up."

James couldn't breathe. "What?" James couldn't believe his ears. "I said," Thomas turned to him, his face red with anger. "We need to break up."

"But- Do you not love me, Thomas?"

Thomas didn't look up at James and turned his back to James. James breathed a shaky voice. "Thomas." James felt a tear attempt to fall down his cheek. "Tho-"

"Do you want me to fucking love you?" Thomas dropped his suitcase loudly and walked over to James, staring down at him. James was speechless.

He tried to open his mouth to speak but Thomas planted a rough kiss on his lips. James tried to move away but Thomas had him up against the wall, his arms under James' shirt. "Thomas-" James let out a muffled complaint, which Thomas ignored.

Thomas craned his neck to push his lips against James' throat, making James kick in discomfort. "Th- Thomas, p- please stop," James tried to shove the large man away but failed. Thomas groaned and grabbed James' groin and gripped as tightly as he could, making James scream in pain. James couldn't take this anymore.

James punched Thomas away and ran towards the door, stopping to glance at Thomas, who was bent over, his arm around his stomach where James punched him. James was breathing heavily and his chest hurt. Thomas straightened up, looking at James, his eyes red. "Thomas," James warned, keeping his space from Thomas. Thomas stepped towards the shorter man, breathing heavily. He got in front of James, their chests almost touching. "Do you see that I love you now?"

James felt anger bubble up in his chest, fighting to get let out of his lungs. Thomas placed a hand on James' waist, pulling him closer. "Thomas," James attempted to speak but Thomas hummed. "That wasn't love, Thomas."

Thomas stopped breathing and then let out a single, deep breath. "Then I don't know what you want me to do," Thomas let go of games and made his way back to his suitcase, picking it up in his hand. "Why can't you just love me, Thomas? It can't be that hard for you! You used to tell me that you loved me all the time!"

James took a step away from Thomas, "Did you find someone else?"

Silence.

"Thomas," James begged, his voice cracked. "You- You didn't."

Thomas wouldn't face the shorter man. "Thomas. Please," James fell to his knees, burying his head in his hands, an uncontrollable sob escaping his lips. "Y- you," James let out a shaky breath, "You couldn't have."

"James. James, I'm so sorry it had to come to this but I can't do this anymore," Thomas tried to explain himself, rubbing the back of his neck and staring at the front door. "Shut the fuck up, Thomas."

Thomas flinched and took a step towards James. "What?"

"I said. Shut the fuck up," James spat, getting up and balling his fists up. His voice was shaking with rage. Thomas took a few more steps forward. "Get away from me, Thomas," James backed away from the much-taller man. Thomas ignored his plea and stepped up to James. "You can't live without me, James. And you know it."

Thomas stared down at James, his hot breath blowing across James' face. "Get out. Now."

Thomas gripped his suitcase tightly, huffing before placing a kiss on James' head. "Goodbye, James."

"Bye."

The door slammed and James heard a car start. He heard it drive down the road, out of the neighborhood and into the freeway. James couldn't feel his legs. He made his way back to his bed. Thomas had left a shirt on James' side of the bed. It was a bright red sweater. A memory flashed through James' head. "You wore this when we first met," James spoke gently.

"Hello there," the tall man smiled down at James, who blushed and smiled. "Hello to you too," James replied softly, staring up at the stranger. People flooded around them, all of them wearing red and green sweaters and jackets. The two men talked for another hour, grabbing drinks and finding a bench to sit at. The fire burned behind them. People surrounded the giant fire and many were singing along with a single person with a guitar.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Thomas placed a hand on James' shoulder, holding it with such care that it made James smile. "Yeah. I've missed this about Virginia -- being up in New York wasn't nearly as good as this," James spoke, letting the nearby fire warm his back. "Ah, so you're from around here?" Thomas smiled. "Yeah, born and raised here," James replied, looking up at the man beside him. "Funny. I did too," the tall man spoke in a gentle voice. 

James looked surprised, "What a coincidence." Thomas brought the drink up to his lips and smiled onto the lip of the cup. "Virginians are cute," Thomas spoke, not looking at James. "And your'e no exception."

James flushed crimson. "Y- Your'e no exception either, Thomas," James stuttered, trying to hide his smile. Thomas turned to face James and took his hand in his own. James stared down at their hands and then back up at Thomas, who was looking at his lips. "Do you want this?" Thomas asked, eyeing James face. James just nodded and leaned forward, letting their lips brush together. Thomas placed a hand on the back of James' neck, bringing the two men closer together. James tugged on the sleeve of Thomas's red sweater, holding his hand against James' neck. 

They broke apart, breathing out of their mouths. James' looked into Thomas's eyes and giggled, straightening his back and placing his hands in his lap. "So," James smiled awkwardly. "So?" Thomas laughed, wrapping his arm around James, pulling him into his side. The two sat like that, enjoying each other's heat.

James brought the sweater up to his face, letting his tears fall into it. "Shit. What have I done?"James fell onto the bed, the sweater covering his tear-streaked face. James knew it wasn't his fault, but everything they had been through proved that Thomas loved him, so James must have done something.

James pulled the blanket over his chest and laid his head on the pillow. He stared at the empty space beside him and imagined Thomas lying there. The thought brought him comfort and he drifted back into sleep, dreaming of the memories him and Thomas had made together.

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sorry this is so late school has fucked up my schedule... im more active on my twitter if you wanna talk to me about anything. okay bye see yall in a few days