The Vanguard and The Jewel Knight

For Her

Setting: Trade Mistakes AU

A/N: Gather around tissue papers. Also I suggest you to read Trade Mistakes first before this :)
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[Aichi's POV]

I thought I promised myself to keep her by my side, I thought she won't leave me.

I did so many things to help her through her hardest times, yet I still couldn't make her stay with me.

But it was too late, when she told me about what would happen to her.

"I don't have much time left."

And my world shattered the moment she told me that, I knew it would happen but it's too soon.

"What about Eiichi-kun? We're going to raise him together, don't we?!"

"I'm sorry, Aichi..."

I tried not to believe it, because I know that Kourin is strong, and that she would fight against her illness.

But we do have a cruel fate, don't we? Were we destined to meet just for her to be taken away from me?

Why... of all things this would happen to me? To us? Why can't she just stay and be together with me?

And god... if only I knew it would be her last night, I would've said all of the things I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her how much I love her and how much I'm going to miss her.

She's my only one.

And I'll never replace her.

Days after she died, everything was dull. I didn't have any will to move, to do the things I had to. I couldn't take care of our son because of me.

I can't even look at him in his eyes, because if I did, I would remember her. His eyes were Kourin's, and if I look at him I couldn't help but to cry.

Eiichi was taken care of my mother, while I just stayed on the apartment without doing anything. Even if I ate, I won't have any appetite to do so.

I would only cry and sit on my room, lying on the bed where she was. Her scent is still there and I could still feel her warmth.

Why did it have to come to this?

I still remember it clearly, the day I woke up and realizing she's not there anymore. I kept on trying to wake her up but there is no hope, I couldn't wake her up because it was over.

She already passed away.

I cried that day, I cried too much that there were no more tears to run down my face. I kept pleading, I kept on doing the same thing.

I tried to keep myself strong, when she was buried, I had to tell myself not to cry. And fortunately I did, because I wanted to be strong for her.

But I couldn't... Her passing left me so much scar, my heart was shattered into pieces.
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"Aichi... you have to take care of your son." My mother told me while she was carrying Eiichi on her shoulders.

I looked at him yet I turned my gaze away from him when he looked at me with those innocent green eyes.

God... those eyes... it reminds me of her...

"I-I'm sorry... I just can't..." I replied.

"But Aichi, you have to. He needs someone to take care of him, he needs you."

"I can't, mother... I just... I can't do it.." I said while looking down.

Just as then, for the first time in my life, I never thought my mother would raise her voice at me.

"Listen, you promised to take care of him. Yet why are you doing this?! Why do you keep hurting yourself?! Eiichi-kun doesn't have his mother anymore and you too would keep yourself away from him?! Do you want him to grow up without his mother and his father not even acknowledging him?!"

Those words struck me, because I remembered my father who left us and he didn't even came back anymore.

Why... am I doing this?

"Aichi, your son is the only one left for you. Kourin-chan may have left us, but Eiichi-kun... he's there because of you and Kourin-chan's love for each other. So please, Aichi... do it for her."

I couldn't help it anymore, and I cried. I looked on my son who is still looking at me and I slowly walked towards him, I took him from my mother and carried him.

I embraced him gently as I cried, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I'm such a bad father for not taking care of you, Eiichi-kun..."

My mother went to me and touched my back, "Aichi..."

"I'm sorry mother, I'm... I'm so selfish... The reason why I can't take care of him is because he reminds me so much of Kourin, and just looking at him makes me cry. That's why..." I explained.

"I see..."

I looked at Eiichi and he smiled at me, I couldn't help but to smile back too. I held him close and spoke.

"I promise I'll be a good father to you... just like Kourin wanted me too..."

I suddenly felt a wind blew on me, and it soothed me. I gave a sigh before looking at my mother and thanking her for giving me the will to take care of the most important person in my life.

I know I can, because I'll do this not just for myself. But for him, my child. And for her, my wife.

=

END