Decisions (Harry Styles)

Chapter 6

HARRY'S POV

My head is hurting. I barely remember what happened yesterday night. The only thing I can remember is seeing her and it's the main thing I wanted to forget.

Why is she here?

When I saw her, I ran away to my car and left to my place. I drank all night. I didn't care. I remember everything. The way it felt to kiss her. The way she laughed at my stupid jokes. The way she was saying my name when we were making love. It hurts to remember everything. It hurts to know that it will never come back. She made a man out of me, but right now, I'm back at being my old self.

I'm a total jerk. I know I am. Playing girls all around like they're fucking toys. But I love it. It doesn't hurt. I don't expect anything from them and they don't expect anything from me. It's nothing compared to love, but anyway...

She is the only one I want and I can't have her. Fuck it. I have to forget her.

Sometimes I ask myself : what if she was still with me ? I would feel better, that's right. A lot better. I wouldn't jerk around. I wouldn't drink, smoke, get laid all the time. But fuck it Harry, she's not there anymore! Then, I remember how much love can hurt, and I don't want to fall ever again.

I was trusting her more than anyone else. She fucked everything. I can't fucking trust people anymore.

I was loving her with all my heart. She fucked everything. I can't fucking love people anymore.

I feel so weak right now it's disgusting. What's wrong with me? I have to stop thinking about all this. I have to be myself again.

JAMIE'S POV

2 weeks. It's been 2 weeks since I'm here. I've talked to only one girl. She is in my math class. She is not my friend, but a classmate. She invited me to a party tonight. I said I had something else to do.

But I didn't. I just didn't want to go. I was writing when my brother called me :

"Hey Jamie, I need your help"

I love my brother. He is my confident. He has always been there for me when I needed him the most. Who needs a friend when you have a perfect brother?

"Yes Tyler, what's wrong?"

"You know the girl I was talking to you about like a month ago? Well I'm really into her and I just..."

"Ask her out" I cut him. He is always so anxious about girls. He shouldn't be.

"You think I should? I mean.. is it too early or.. I don't know ?"

"Tyler... You know that you should ask her out. Do it okay? Ask her out for dinner."

"Okay I will... How is it in Washington?"

"Boring."

"Come on Jame.. I'm sure you're just too stubborn to have fun. Did you try to?"

"No I'm not! I swear it's boring! I tried..."

"How? Go out!"

"No Tyler. It's not my type and you know it"

"Please. Listen... I know you've been throught a lot and it's really hard to recover after everything that happened, but it would really help you! Go out only once. Do it for me okay? You have to start living again, like you used to be..." Tears ran slowly down my cheeks at the mention of those memories...

"Bye Tyl, I will call you tomorrow"

I know he loves me and only wants to help, but it hurts to think about what happened. I'm trying my best to live as I did before. I will prove him that I'm trying. I will go to that damn party, but only once. I want to show him that I'm trying my best, but it just won't work.

AN

Hey everyone ! Tell me what you think ! Thank you

-Aly x