Decisions (Harry Styles)

Chapter 41

HARRY'S POV

For once in my life, I was so fucking proud of myself. That date was perfect and according to me, my behavior was appropriate. I have to admit that I got in a small fight with Zayn, but it was nothing important. It didn't ruin our night and that's all that matters to me. 

I want to make love to that girl, more than anything. But I don't want to go too fast. I know that she's not ready at all and surprisingly, I don't really care about that. I guess that it's what being in love feels like. When I'm with her, everything else seems unimportant.

To be honest, I'm still scared. I still think that I could ruin everything. I don't know how, but I'm sure I could and I don't want it to happen. I don't trust myself around her and I still have to be really careful.

It's fucking stupid, but I went on the computer to search for tips. Relationship tips. I'm pathetic, but I was curious. If my father was aive, I would ask him. But you know... And fuck, I really want this to work and I can't do it alone.

What caught my eyes first is that one : "Don't cheat on her". I may not be the best, but I'm not a jerk anymore. I know that I would never do that. My ex cheated on me and it hurt more than any other thing. By doing this, she literally tore my heart. 

"Protect her". I know that I can do that. I would never let anyone hurt her, especially not myself. That's why I'm doing all that shit right now. 

"Compliment her". Shit. I think I don't do that enough. I mean, yes I care about her and I show it most of the time. I never text anyone as much as I text her. But when I do, I don't compliment her a lot. I tell her she's beautiful cause damn, she is. I think I should work more on complimenting. It has never been my strength. Neither were relationships...

"Communicate". I hate doing this and everyone know that I suck at it. With her, it's kind of different. I talk more and I love to listen to her. I think that with some practice, I could could improve that...

"Leave her some space". Fuck. I can't do that. I think about her all the time. When I'm not with her, I just want to call her and hear her voice When I can't call her, I text her and stare at my phone until she answers. I can't help it. That's what love does to me I guess. Stupid tips. I can try, but I'm sure it won't work. I saw her yesterday night and I already miss her.

To me, everything in a relationship revolve around one single word : respect. I need to respect that girl, it's the best way to show her that I'm deeply in love with her.

As I was thinking about giving her some space, my phone rang. It was her. I thought about not answering, but fuck it.

"Hello? Is everything alright?" Usually, I was always the one calling. I was kind of worried.

"It is, don't worry. I just wanted to talk to you." she said slowly. The tone in her voice told me that something was wrong. 

"Don't lie to me okay? Do you want me to come?" Leave her some space Harry....

"It's fine I swear. Don't freak out okay?"

"Something happened, I knew it. What is it Jamie?" I was fucking anxious and I just wanted to go see her right now. 

"I just.. I saw him."

"Who, love? Was it Zayn?"

"Brandon" At the mention of his name, I flinched. 

"You mean, that guy? Are you okay? Where is he now? I'm coming. Are you at your place?" I was literally freaking out. I didn't want him to approach her. Not again. 

"Harry, I told you not to freak out. I'm at my place and everything is alright. I was at the mall to buy clothes and then I saw him. I tried to avoid him but he noticed me first. I tried to walk away and then he catched me. He didn't mention the incident. He just told me that he moved back here to work. He seemed nice, absolutely like when we first met. I just wanted to leave. Now that he lives near, I just feel like... the memories are clearer. I just... I thought I wouldn't see him again."

" I'm coming okay? Stay in your house I'll be there in 10. "

Leaving her space? There's a fucking limit. I can't let her alone if that bastard is in town. He's a fucking psycho and if I see him, I swear he's dead. I tried to stay calm but it was harder than what I could handle. I couldn't stand that guy.

When she opened the door, the look on her face broke my heart. She was so fragile but still, so strong. I took her in my arms and kissed her cheek.  

"Hi love, how are you doing?" I asked. She was in her pajama and still looked absolutely perfect. 

"I'm okay. I swear Harry. Let's not talk about him, okay? I'm not in the mood... I don't want to talk about that." she weakly said. I didn't care, I just wanted her to feel good. 

"As you wish. We can watch a movie, or I can cook you something, even though I suck at it. We can just go to sleep..." 

"Movie is fine with me" she said, smiling. 

Then, I chose a funny movie and sat on the couch with her. I wrapped my arms around her as her head rested on my shoulder. I stroke her hair gently. I loved to feel her close to me. 

"I'll always be there for you" I said, meaning every word. I would do literally everything for that girl. 

"Thank you. I don't want to lose you. You're all I have right now." I could tell she had a really bad day. She usually never says things that. 

"Me too baby. You'll never lose me." I said, finally letting myself go.

I was so in love with her.

________

AN 

Hi everyone !! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. 

Happy 4th of july to you dear american readers ! 

Thanks for reading, voting and commenting. 

Love, 

Aly x