Decisions (Harry Styles)

Chapter 42

JAMIE'S POV

**FLASHBACK**

I was shopping and thinking about Harry way too much to be honest. Everytime I was seeing something, I was asking myself "would he love it?". I have to admit that I kind of like it. He invades my thoughts and there's nothing I can do to make it stop. Honestly, I don't want it to stop.

As I was walking through a store, I felt observed. For a second, I thought that Harry was there. I looked around, but there was no trace of him. I'm starting to become crazy. Not only I think of him all the time, but I also see him everywhere.

When I walked out of the store, my heart stopped. I saw him. It was the worst thing that could happen to me. I thought he stayed in Los Angeles. Why is he in Washington now? I started thinking that he followed me. He is a real psycho, Harry was right.

I couldn't move, but I had to. I avoided his gaz, turned around and started to walk as fast as I could. I felt trapped and couldn't control my breathing. When I felt his hand on my arm, I thought I was going to faint.

"Don't run away from me, angel. Not again." his voice made me shiver. I was frozen. I felt like every single word he was saying overthrown the wall I tried to build after the incident. "Where were you going?"

"Nowhere" I said, avoiding his gaze as much as I could.

"Look at me" he said, lifting my chin up with his strong hand.

"What do you want?" I wanted to call Harry. I just wanted to run away and jump in his arms where I felt safe. He is my wall and I feel like nothing can overthrow him.

"Since when are you so impolite, angel? You forgot what I teached you?" I wanted to throw up. For once in my life I was confident enough to confront him and he was literally laughing in my face. "Tell me, what's new in your life? I just want to know how you are doing." he said, not meaning a single word.

"I'm fine"

"Angel, I'd like to spend a day with you." he asked. I was scared. I didn't want to see him. I just wanted to get over the past and not see him anymore. I never say that but I wish he was dead.

"I'm pretty busy sorry." I lied, too scared to tell the truth.

"Really? But not busy enough to go out with an asshole with skin covered in tattoos?" I was petrified. He was clearly refering to Harry right now and I couldn't handle it.

"Since when are you spying on me?" I asked, frightened.

"I'm not spying on you. I didn't even know you were in Washington. I watch movies too, you know? I saw both of you and I was intrigued." He was at the movie. I couldn't believe it. " I didn't know who your boyfriend was and I just wanted to know more about him. He seems like a jerk am I right?"

"Leave him alone. You know nothing about him." I said, trying to calm down.

"Harry Styles." At the mention of his name, I flinched.

"How do you..." he cut me off by putting a finger on my lips.

"Shh you know who I am, don't underestimate me. So, what about spending the day with me, angel?" He was scaring me even more.

"It's still a no." I couldn't spend a day with him, no way.

"It's because of him isn't it? I can take care of him if you'd like"

"No! " I yelled. I didn't want him to approach Harry. He was crazy.

"Well if you don't come with me, I'll have to. If you talk to your boyfriend about our little meeting, it's going to be the last thing you'll say to him, you hear me ? And if you don't come with me, you won't see him anymore." I knew he was serious. I was trying to hold the tears from falling. I felt stuck and I just wanted to run away.

"Why are you doing this?" I said, desperate.

"Because I want you back."

** END OF FLASHBACK**

Harry fell asleep while watching the movie. As I looked at him, I couldn't restrain myself from crying. He was everything and I couldn't stand losing him.

I was so scared. Scared of being hurt. Scared of hurting him. I felt so powerless. So helpless. A part of me wanted to tell him everything, but I couldn't stand the thought of him being in danger.

I know Harry more than anyone. I know that if I tell him everything, he will be mad. I won't be able to control himself and he will explode. I know that if I tell him, I won't personally put him in danger, he will do it alone. I also know that he will try to defend me and that he will probably fail miserably. Harry is strong, but I know what Brandon can do.

That's why I decided to be strong and stand up for myself. I won't let Brandon touch me. I will stand my ground. Harry showed me how to be strong and I need to prove to myself that I can do it alone now. I'm not stupid, I'm not going to bring him to my place, we'll go somewhere public. If it all goes wrong, I'll just yell or something...

I have to admit that even though I try to act powerful and fearless, I'm scared. I don't want to go back in the same pattern. I don't want him to affect me like he did before.

I felt so safe in Harry's arms and I didn't want to lose that. I needed to do it not ony for myself, but for us.

Brandon is part of my past and if I want to go on with Harry, I have to face my demons and overcome them.

______

AN

Hey !

Kind of a filler but I have to settle down what is coming next. Thanks for your understanding.

Love you all !

Aly x