"I'm sorry if I say I need you, but I don't care I'm not scared of love. Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong, that you make me strong.?"
Easy song. I had it stuck in my head while writing the chapter so I guess it is what it is ! If you can't guess this one, I'm giving up. Hahah.
JAMIE'S POV
It's been two weeks since me and Harry are officially together. To be honest, I've never been as happy. Harry is absolutely perfect. He's the type of boyfriend to send a good morning text every morning, to know exactly when there's something wrong just by the tone in my voice and to take me on a date almost everyday.
He cares about me a lot and he knows exactly how to show it. It's what I absolutely adore about him. He's not the cheesy boyfriend giving me flowers and chocolate but that's not what I need. Harry knows how to make me happy, to challenge me and to make me feel worth it. I know that if something happens between us, he will fight for us because he needs me as much as I need him.
We do everything together. We can spend the day in bed watching boring movies and laughing about how pathetic we are. But we can also go to the lake and have a swim in the middle of the night. We already did it once before when we started dating, but it was so different. I'm not hostile anymore. I've learned how to open up to Harry and to understand him.
On the other hand, some things never changed and I think they never will. Harry still has that smirk on his face. To be honest, I fell in love with it. Even when I hated it, I loved it. Harry still doesn't ask. With him, there's no "Do you want to go out tonight?". It is "I'm taking you out tonight". Honestly, I fell in love with it. I find it adorable. Harry still says whatever comes to his mind. He doesn't have a filter. I find it really cute. I think I fell in love with every single part of Harry.
Personally, I changed a lot. I learned how to trust someone. I learned how to have faith in something. I learned that not every single person on earth was a threat. Most important thing, I learned how to love someone. How to fall without being scared of getting hurt. How to finally let go...
It's not something I could've learned by myself. Harry proved it to me. I feel so lucky that he's part of my life now. He doesn't know it, but he saved me.
He saved me from myself. Saved me from my past. Even though I was trying to hide it, it was haunting me and I couldn't move on. He showed me that we can't forget, it's absolutely impossible. Learning how to live with it is the key. Acceptance is a way of healing.
Harry was so strong that it was making me strong too. He has been through so much but still, he knew how to be happy. I needed someone to prove to me that even though I've been through hell, I had the right to be happy too.
Harry is exactly what I needed, and what I'll always need.
HARRY'S POV
It's been two weeks since Jamie said yes to me. I'm so stupid. I sound like we're getting married or something. Anyway, I'm relieved that she said yes. I didn't plan on asking her, it just happened. When I saw Brandon kissing her, I thought it was done and I was extremely scared. I didn't want to feel that way again. That's exactly the rush of adrenaline I needed to make her mine.
Because of Jamie, I know that everything happens for a reason. Before meeting her, I wasn't as strong. Everytime something was happening to me, I was so fucking upset. I couldn't think properly and I was making huge mistakes. Now, I know that it's the worst thing to do. When something bad happens to me, I have to face it and to fight for what I truly want. Running away from the problem won't solve it at all. It'll just make things worse.
For example, when I lost Gabriella, I fought with that guy. Was he the problem? Not really. If she let me go, it's not only because of him. Maybe she didn't love me anymore, maybe I'm not the man she needed or maybe she just didn't know what she wanted. Instead of fighting for what I wanted, I chose to fight against the easiest thing ; that man. It's easier to fight physically against someone than to fight mentally against your own demons. I'm still not the best at it, but I'm slowly becoming better.
What if I hadn't jumped on him? What if I had talked to Gabriella instead? Would things have turned out differently? Probably. But there's a reason why it happened that way. I had things to learn from it and now, I'm a better man. Things do happen for a reason.
If they handn't happened, Jamie wouldn't be in my life. She's the reason I can finally get over my past now. She's worth every single thing I've been through. For her , I swear I'd go through every fucking thing. She deserves what's best. Each and everyday, I try to give it to her. She needs to know that I'm thankful for everything she has done for me.
After years of being a jerk and trying to find who I really was, I can finally say that I'm complete. It's crazy how someone can have a huge impact on another person.
After years of being lost, I can finally assert that I am in love. I'm truly, madly and fucking deeply in love with her. I'm in love with her laugh, her eyes, her smile and even her insecurites. From day one, I've loved everything about her even though I was trying to hide it. I was scared. Scared of that strange feeling called love. I wanted to escape it because I knew that love hurts.
Love is something you can't escape from. It'll always get back at you.
_________
An
Hi everyone ! First overall, sorry for the long wait. Im still trying to get over my concert.
As you're probably starting to feel it, the story is coming to an end ( I KNOW I WANT TO CRY)
Only about 2-3 chapters left. And a long author's note.
BUT. Good news ! I started writing a new story. I know exactly where I want to go with it, I only need to find a title ( hardest part to do honestly)
I'll probably update something about it really soon. Probably tonight cause I'm so excited about it.
It will be different than Decisions but I think you will like it. I hope you will read it and help me as much as you helped me with that story.
Thanks for the votes, reads, and comments! I'm really close to my goal and I hope I will reach it before the end of Decisions.
Enough now.
Love you all,
Aly x
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Decisions (Harry Styles)
Fanfiction"Through their troubled past, will love make their future worth while?" Sometimes, moving on can be hard. Especially for Jamie. Her past is haunting her and she can't open up to anyone. To her, love is a dangerous thing. What happens when Harry com...
