Decisions (Harry Styles)

Chapter 16

Harry's POV

I wish I was good with words. I wish I was able to say all the right things, at the right time. But for reasons unknown, I can't. It won't come out. Instead of saying the wrong thing, I'd rather say nothing at all.

But there she was, crying in my arms. She seemed totally broken and I felt a twinge. Seeing her like this was so hard. So, I just sat there, holding her tight. I knew something was wrong with that girl. I knew that one day, I was going to pick every piece of her broken heart.

"I'm sorry" she said. I could feel that she was fighting herself not to cry.

"Don't be sorry for that. Cry if it helps. I'm sorry for whatever you've been through" I honestly said. She couldn't stop crying. I felt really bad for her and to be honest, I was feeling useless.

"Why? What are you doing here with me ? What do you want from me?" she said trying to catch her breath. She looked scared, and insecure. What the fuck am I doing wrong again...

"Nothing. I mean, I want nothing from you. I love your company, that's all. I don't want to hurt you." I said, trying to defend myself. I feel like when I'm with her, it's the only thing I do.

"Why did you kiss me that night?" she said, out of nowhere.

"I told you, you were the one who kissed me. I just followed I guess.."

"No, not that night. The first night, at the party, when I was in the bathroom" she angrily said. I couldn't understand why she was bringing back that incident again. I just wanted to get it out of my mind.

"I'm sorry again. That was a mistake. I mean, kissing you isn't a mistake. But the way I did it was totally unrespectful. I can be a total jerk sometimes." I said, meaning every word. I still don't understand why I did that to be honest. Of course she's attractive as fuck and I wanted to kiss her. But I shouldn't have done it. I'm such a mess...

"That's not what I meant. Why me ? Out of all the girls, why did you rushed to kiss me when I didn't want to?" she said, her voice cracking. I didn't know what to answer and to be honest, I didn't really see the point in her question...

"Because you're... attractive? I don't really know what to tell you. You were there in the bathroom and looked so vulnerable? I just.. I don't know." I had no words.

"Vulnerable ? Really?" and then she started crying again. Way to fucking go Harry !

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say anything wrong."

"It's fine. You should go" she said while standing up.

"I can't let you alone when I know how broken you are right now."

"Would you stop please ? Stop acting like you care ! You know absolutly nothing about me and you think you can help? Months ago, I didn't even know you and now you think I can't live without you ? I was doing great before you came into my life Harry. Why are you trying to make my life more difficult?" she said, almost yelling at me. She didn't mean what she just said, I knew it. She had to took that anger out and she decided take it out on me. That was totally fine. But somehow, it hurt. The urge in her tone was telling me to leave.

"That's fine. You have my number if you need anything" I said while leaving.

As I drove back to my place, I thought about what she just said. I'm not acting, I do care about her. I hate how she rejects me. Since Gabriella, I never really cared for anyone. Now I do, and I don't want to make the same mistakes again. Caring hurts. I was used to not giving a fuck and that helps

Even if she pushes me, I won't leave her. She doesn't know it yet, but she needs me. Probably as much as I need her...