Decisions (Harry Styles)

Chapter 49

JAMIE'S POV

"What are you doing here Brandon?" I was shocked, but also really upset. When I talked to him last time, I was proud of me. I said everything that I needed to say and it made me feel better. I wanted to keep feeling that way and I didn't want him to destroy me again. I knew that for him, it was easy to do it. He was able to bring me down by saying only one word because he knew exactly what hurt me. But it's over now. I'm strong than this. "You're not welcome here."

"Actually, I am" I swear I wanted to punch him. I'm far from being violent, but his arrogance made me so upset. "Your friend, well boyfriend... whatever. That guy invited me here." he said pointing at Harry. I couldn't believe it. Why would Harry do that? Was he freaking crazy?! 

I turned around and looked straight at him. By the way he looked at me, I knew that Brandon was right : Harry really did invite Brandon to come over. I was furious. I turned around and walked to the door. I had to leave. 

"Wait ! " Harry yelled, following me outside. I didn't want to talk to him. How could he do this to me?

"Leave me alone" I said, walking. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew that I needed to be away from here. Away from him. Away from them. 

"I'm sorry okay? Maybe it wasn't a good idea but I had to do this! You have to do this..." he said, running after me. I felt that he was really close to me. 

"Are you stupid Harry? I'm so done with him !" I yelled back at him. Tears started running down my face even though I was trying to stay strong. Harry saw me broken too many times."I have to do what? Get broken again?" 

"No. You have to move on" he simply said holding my hand. I wanted to push him away but I couldn't. I couldn't avoid any physical contact with him. It made me feel a bit better. 

"I moved on Harry, I'm with you now." I said, falling in his arms again. No matter how hard I tried to stay away from him, it was impossible. There was something that always attracted me to him. Love maybe. Who knows?

"I know, you're doing good Jamie okay? You're strong" he said, stroking gently my hair while holding me againt his chest. "But I know that you're still scared. I know that you think about this really often. I know that there's still a little voice in your head telling you to be careful. And I also know that there are things remain to be done. " Even though I hated to say it, Harray was right. I said everything I needed to say to Brandon, but he said nothing. There were still many things that I needed to hear from him. 

"If I go there and talk to him I don't want you to go away. Stay right next to me and if I tell you that it's enough, you have to listen to me and make him leave, okay?" I was nervous, but Harry gave me strength.

"Pinky promise." he said with a cute smile. "I'll be right next to you" he held me tight and kissed my cheek. I wasn't quite sure if it was a good thing, but Harry made me feel invicible. I knew that as long as I was with him, everything was going to be fine. 

He took my hand and led me back to his house. Brandon was still sittig on the couch waiting for us to be back.

"Everything is alright?" he asked. as if it mattered to him. Jerk. 

"Yes it is." Harry answered, sitting right next to me, still holding my hand. 

"Talk now." I said to Brandon. "You interrupted us so try to hurry up." Harry chuckled slightly, squeezing my hand. I didn't care about Brandon and I just wanted him to leave as soon as possible. 

"Okay...Well I just wanted to apologize for what I did." he said. The weirdest thing is that he looked sincere. It made me want to throw up. 

"I already heard that before" I said, standing up. Harry held me by the waist and pulled me back on the couch. 

"Wait. Everything is fine love" he whispered in my ear. I didn't know if his voice soothed me more than the hand he put on my back. He knew exactly how to calm me down. I sat down next to him and waiting for Brandon to keep going.

"Don't be mad at your boyfriend. When I met him a while ago and asked him to come and talk to you, I swear he wanted to kill me. It took me a moment but he finally decided to let me come here but only if he could stay which I accepted." Brandon looked weird. He seemed vulnerable. "I just wanted to talk to you before leaving to Australia."

"You're moving again?" I said, trying to hide my relief. 

"Yes I am. Coming here was a huge mistake. I should have left you alone. I know that I've been a total jerk to you and I still am. You don't have to believe me but I regret it. I'll have to live with guilt for the rest of my life and I'm not complaining because I know that I deserve it. I didn't come here to ask you for forgiveness, but I just want to make sure you know that it wasn't your fault. You didn't deserve any of this, I took advantage of you and the love you had for me." At the thought of it, I flinched. I always felt responsible for what happened. "It took me many years to wake up and realize all of this. I felt that I could control you and it made me powerful. But now I know that I don't control you anymore and that I never will. You're strong Jamie... Way stronger than me. I'm a coward." he stopped talking for a moment and looked at the ceiling. I never saw Brandon that way. I didn't know how to react and I was totally speechless.

"I was in love with you. It might seem crazy, but I really was. I just didn't know how to show it. It's not an excuse at all but my father always beated my mother, I was born in it. Even though i might sound stupid, he was my model. I thought that love meant control. I just... I'm pathetic." I didn't know if he was sincere or not, but I decided to believe him. "I know that you probably don't care at all because I ruined your life but there's only one thing that I'd like to tell you. He's a good guy. I don't fucking know him but I know you and I can see that he makes you feel alive again. It's something I never did and could never do but he clearly can. Forget what happened okay? Forget what I did ! Boys as cruel as me are rare. They won't break you anymore. He won't do that. He won't let anyone do that. Let yourself fall Jamie. I can't go back in time and erase what I've done but before leaving you, I want to make sure that you know how to love again. I'm sorry for playing you but it wasn't your fault and it won't happen again, I promise." tears started rushing down my cheeks again. I'm a crybaby. 

Harry stood up and shook Brandon's hand. I was speechless. It was just too much for me to handle. Brandon never told me anything like this and I didn't quite know what to do with it. 

"It's okay. I will get over it." I truthfully said. I never thought that one day I could do that, but I finally got over it. I know that it will never leave my mind, but I also know that I have everything it takes to face it and move on. 

"Honestly, I'm sorry Jamie." He said before standing up and walking to the door."You're a strong and amazing girl. That bastard is lucky to have you." he said with a weak smile. Harry slightly sneered.

"I know" he said.

"Thank you for your apologies. I can't say that I forgive you for what you've done because I don't think I ever will, but it means a lot to me."

"Jamie Carter, I think you're the only girl in the world who thanks someone for their appologies. Especially for what I've done." he was right, I can be odd sometimes. "Goodbye Jamie. I sincerely wish you the best."

"Goodbye Brandon" I said closing the door behind him.

I felt Harry arms around me as he held me closer. He kissed the top of my head and stroke my hair gently. 

"You did amazing love" he whispered in my ear before leaving a sweet kiss on my lips. 

At that moment, I knew that Harry was the best thing that ever happened to me. 

______

AN

Oh my God 2 chapters left I can't believe it. Thank you for being part of it. You guys are amazing. 

I reached my 10k views and it's all because of you! 

I hope you liked the chapter. 

Aly x