Decisions (Harry Styles)

Chapter 29

JAMIE'S POV

I was tired of all those secrets. I understand that Harry will never tell me everything about him and it's totally fine with me. However, there are things that I need and deserve to know.

Maybe he doesn't care about me as much as I though he did. He saw how pissed I was and didn't even tell me what was going on with that Gabriella. The way he reacted towards Zayn made me feel like he was hiding something important. I feel like our relationship is based on a lie and I hate that. If he doesn't explain it to me, I'll leave.

HARRY'S POV

I was not ready to tell her, not yet for many reasons. I had no idea how to tell her and what to tell her. I still remember every details about Gabriella, but I've never told them to anyone. I have no idea how it will come out, or if it will at all. But I can't stand seeing her mad at me. She was so upset and I really tried to tell her everything, but I couldn't. On the other hand, I don't want to loose her.

I'm sorry that I didn't give you the answers to your questions.

I knew that this simple text wouldn't change her feelings towards me, but I wished it could help. I felt bad and I wanted her to forgive me.

________

I've been waiting for her answer all day. Things were worst than what I thought. I decided to call her but she didn't answer either. The only thing keeping me from going to her house is the fact that she told me she needed space. But damn, I was getting worried.

I will answer to one of your questions if you please answer me.

Still no answer after an hour. God...

5 questions...

I needed to see her. She was slowly becoming an addiction

Every question.

I have to face my past if I want to go on. It will be a good thing if I explain everything to her, I think...

Ok.

She only sent me two letters, but damn I was happy. She was alright and she still wanted to talk to me.

I jumped in my car to get to her place and to be honest, I was getting really nervous. I knew I had to do this.

When I got to her house, she was outside, still writing. She was beautiful. Even when she's mad at me, she's fucking beautiful.

"Hey Jamie. What are you writing about?" I said, sitting next to her. She closed her binder and looked straight into my eyes.

"Don't try to change the subject Harry. I need answers and you know it." she said on a really firm tone. She was trying to control the conversation for the first time. I loved that dominant side of Jamie. It's such a turn on.

"That's not what I was trying to do. Fine. What are your questions?" I said, letting her win.

"Who is Gabriella?" she asked.

"My ex-girlfriend"

"Why did you two break up?"

"She found someone else"

JAMIE'S POV

With his voice breaking, I felt that it was hard for him to talk about it. He kept avoiding my gaze. I had to keep going anyway.

"Why did Zayn hold it against you then?"

"He knew how much it was going to piss me off"

"Why?I mean, If she's your ex-girlfriend and if it's done with her, why would it bother you?"

"It's a really complicated story"

"Don't you think I deserve to know it?"

"Absolutely and I wish I could explain every single detail to you but I've never done it before. I'm not even sure if I'm ready to tell you everything about it. I loved that girl and it just didn't turn out well. Overall that's about it.I've done so many mistakes just to get her back and to be honest, it kind of took a big part of my life away. I just... I'm trying but... " he stopped talking. He took his head in his hands and I could tell how hard it was for him. I had no idea that he once loved a girl. I had no idea that he has been broken.

"I think that talking about it would help you a lot Harry. I know it can be hard to talk about your past but if you don't, you'll never be able to get over it. I won't judge you and you can trust me." he looked at me and there was so much pain in his eyes.

" You're gonna think that I'm a pussy"

"Showing your emotions doesn't make you a "pussy" Harry. I shouldn't use this against you, but you promised to your father that you were going to change to be a better person. I don't think that keeping your feelings for yourself is going to make you a better person. Trust me Harry." he was still looking at the ground and I lifted his chin up."Look at me. I know you are strong and I know you can do it. You were able to tell everything you wanted to your father in front of many people. You did it perfectly. And you know what? It helped you, a lot. At this point, I won't force you to tell me your story if you don't feel comfortable, but I keep thinking that you should tell it to someone, even if it's not me. Living with a secret can be hard Harry."

Believe me, I know how hard it can be...

"Jamie, You're the one I want to tell my story to."

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AN

Hey everyone!

Sorry I didn't update yesterday. I had a big headache.

Hope you'll like the chapter. Be ready for the next one ! hahah x The more you comment, the sooner I'll post it ;)

Oh and thanks for the 2.5k reads !

Love,

Aly x