HARRY'S POV
When her lips met mine, I finally felt nothing except that delightful sensation. She was hesitating, but I didn't care. I had been waiting for this moment since the day I met her and now that it's finally here, I'm not going to let it slip away. Her hands were on my chest, pulling me closer with every move we were making.
It was good to feel something else than pain for a moment. Right now, I just wished time would stop so the only thing I could feel for the rest of my life is the taste of her lips. No pain, no anger and no feeling of emptiness. Right now, she's fulfilling that hole in my chest.
I know that it won't last forever and that as soon as she'll leave me, all those negatives fucking feelings will come back. She's my own piece of paradise and right now, I can't let her go.
JAMIE'S POV
After the ceremony, he drove me back to my place. He was still really silent and I couldn't tell if it was because of the funeral or the kiss. Somehow, he didn't look uncomfortable. He looked peacefull, and exhausted.
" Are you okay ?" I asked him to break the silence.
"I'm good. I've been better, but I've been worst too. Thank you for coming it means a lot." he said while stopping the car.
"It's nothing. You're strong Harry you know that?"I said, looking right into his eyes.
"You make me strong" he said while leaning into me again. His lips met mine for the second time today and this time, he didn't try to hold himself back. His lips were hungry and his kiss ravenous. I felt his hand on my thigh as he was unfastening my seatbelt. His hands were travelling my body and I could feel what was going to come next...
*FLASHBACK*
As I was putting back my clothes, he was looking at me with that threatening look he always had. My body was covered with bruises and every move I was doing was hurting me.
"If you tell anyone what happened between us, I'll thrust into you harder next time. So much that you won't even be able to feel your fucking legs for at least a week, you hear me?" he said while coming closer to me.
"I get it. Leave me alone now... Please..." I begged him, still trying to stop sobbing.
"You know, you have sought all of this. You're such a tease Jamie. How do you expect me to not jump on you after all that teasing game of yours? I needed to have sex with you and the way you were looking at me told me that it was going to be fucking awesome. I don't even think it would've been better if you had been consenting. It was perfect." he said while touching my breast again. I didn't even have the strength to push him away anymore.
Maybe he was right, maybe it was all my fault.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
"Harry.. Stop... Please" I said, pushing him away gently.
"Oh.. What's wrong?" I couldn't tell if he was angry, or uncomfortable. He wasn't even looking at me.
"I'm not ready for this... Excuse me. I really should go now..." I said, opening the door.
"What? You thought I was going to fuck you ? Right now ? Right here ?" I could tell he was really upset by the way he raised his voice."You still think I'm a jerk don't you? I've been a jerk all my life and I always will ! You'll never trust me Jamie" he said. Now I was the one who wasn't able to look at him. If I did, I was going to break down in tears again. Saying no to him when I knew exactly how much he is suffering was the hardest thing, but I had to. What happened with him keeps rushing through my mind and thinking about it is killing me. I can't let another guy touch me like this. Not yet. He was right when he said that I don't trust him. But he is wrong when he says that I will never trust him. It'll just take more time.
"You know it's not true Harry. Listen, I know you're going through a lot right now and I don't want to add up to it. It has absolutly nothing to do with you.You should go home and we'll talk about it later okay? I'm sorry but I had to say no. You did absolutly nothing wrong. Don't blame yourself again, please." I said, trying to meet his gaze. He just nodded and started his car.
As soon as he left, I wanted to be with him again.
______
AN
Short chapter, I know. But I wasn't even supposed to do a double update today so yeah.
Thanks again for reading, voting and commenting. You're all perf.
Gotta love Jarry. Hahaha
Love,
Aly x
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Decisions (Harry Styles)
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