Decisions (Harry Styles)

Chapter 51

JAMIE'S POV

When I woke up, Harry wasn't next to me. I looked at the clock : 3 pm. We fell asleep just after making love. It was the best few hours of sleep I ever got. I rolled out of bed and walked to the kitchen. He was there, cooking something. I walked to him and hugged him backwards. He turned around and kissed my forehead.

"Hello darling. Slept well?" he asked, smiling.

"I did" I said, leaving a slow kiss on his lips again. "Thank you." he started laughing. 

"Jamie Carter." he said, kissing me back."Are you thanking me for making love to you?" his smirk was back and I could feel the heat on my cheeks. 

 "No !" I said, realizing how stupid that thank you sounded. "I was thanking you for making dinner" I lied. 

"Who said it was for you?" he said, giggling.

"You're trying to get back to your arrogant self?" I said, kissing his cheek. "You know that it won't work Harry."

"I'm already back to my old self you know? Having sex with girls and stuff." he said, smirking.

"Don't make me regret it." I said, trying to be serious, but not able to hide my smile.

"I'm kidding. What happened today was nothing compared to what happened with other girls. It wasn't even close to it. And I never cooked for the girls I had sex with."

"Don't try to hide that romantic side of you, it will always come out." I said, intertwining my fingers with his.

"That's what happens when you're going out with the most amazing woman on earth." he answered, pecking my lips. 

"You're so cheesy." I said, kissing him back. 

"I know how much you like it." he winked at me. 

Even in my dreams, I never imagined having a relationship like this. Everything is so perfect. I trust him more than anyone and I feel so comfortable around him. I know that he will never judge me and that he would do anything just to make me feel happy. I feel that we are made for each other.

I'm aware that one day, we will have to face harder moments. We will fight and things won't always be easy. But during those moments, I'll always remember how good Harry makes me feel and it will help me fight for him. I can't let him go. 

Harry made some pastas and it was delicious. We ate it on the couch, cuddled to each other while watching TV. We looked like an old couple. He was focused on the TV show and I could tell that he was thinking about something. I looked at him and took his hand in mine.

"Are you okay?" I asked, kissing his cheek.

"Would you come with me?" he answered, standing up.

"Where?" 

"I feel so complete right now because of you. A while ago, there was something I needed to do but couldn't. I feel ready right now." he said, walking to the door. 

I didn't understand what he meant, but I followed him. He was still so mysterious. I sat in the car and he started driving. I immediatly recognized where we were going. I knew how hard it was going to be for me and it made me quite nervous. We hadn't talked about it in a while and I didn't know how he was feeling about it right now. 

We got out of the car, he took my hand and guided me to his father's tombstone. So many things were going through his mind, but I could tell that he was ready for this. He looked strong and determined. When we saw the grave, Harry stopped walking and held both or my hands.  

"I love you so much." he said, leaving a sweet kiss on my lips.

"I love you, Harry." I answered, holding him really tight. 

He walked to the grave and I followed him. I stayed behind to leave him some intimacy. 

"Hi dad." he said on a confident tone. "I'm sorry that I haven't came here earlier. I wasn't quite ready for this. I came here to apologize one last time for my mistakes, hoping that you will forgive me from where you are. After years of blaming myself, I finally learned that I deserve forgiveness. I learned how to forgive myself. I needed one last chance and I got it. To be honest, I think I'm doing it well now." Harry turned back and looked at me. He beckoned me to approach. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to his chest. 

"Dad, I would like you to meet my girlfriend. Before the incident, you always said that you believed in me. Actually, you believed in me more than I did. You said that I was a good guy and that I was going to find a girl that I love as much as you loved mum. To be honest, I thought you were crazy." he let out a small laugh. "Clearly you were not. I wish you were still alive to see how much I changed. I think you would be proud of me. You'd have to thank her though. She makes me feel alive. Everyday, I want to be a better man for her. If I had not met her, I would still be the same jerk. " his grip tightened around me. "I know how much you were in love with mum and I'm glad to say that I totally understand it now. I promise that I won't let her go." his voice broke a little bit and I gently stroke his back. He was stronger than ever.

"Now, I know how hard it was for you to let mum go. I promise that I'm going to take care of her. Ill go see mum again, I'll apologize and I will try to make her life better. I'm not going to fall into my old self again. I deserve forgiveness but I also know that I have to fight for it, and I will. I love you dad." He walked closer to the grave and silently looked at it for a minute. I was speechless. What he said was so beautiful and I couldn't help but shed a tear.

Of course Harry helped me a lot with everything I've been through. But this day, I learned that I also helped Harry a lot. He wasn't the same either. He was remarkably strong and he wanted to be the best he could be. 

When I met Harry, we were both extremely broken. We were trying to act like nothing happened and we were hiding that pain. Now, we don't have to hide around each other. We both know exactly how the other feels at a specific moment. We're each other's strength. Harry is my other half. 

He walked back to me and held me in his arms. He didn't talk but I knew exactly what he was thinking about. 

"Thank you" he finally said. 

"I did nothing Harry. You're so strong." I answered, tightening my grip around him. He lifted my chin slowly and forced me to look at him. 

"You did nothing? Baby, you saved my life. Don't you even try to be humble. You know that you're the reason why I'm here today." he was so serious and it was so touching. I tried to keep the tears from falling but couldn't. I love him to death. "I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. One day I promise I'll marry you. I won't fuck up again I swear. I know that I will always love you so fucking much." He took my head in his hands and kissed me. 

Through our relationship, we grew up. We're both changed and at this moment, we knew that we were ready to move on together. We're never going to forget our past, but we got over it. 

I'm now proud to say that even if I was broken, opening up to Harry was the best decision I've made in my entire life. 

______

AN

Here's the last chapter. Sorry it took me like a month but to be honest I didn't want it to end. And I absolutely had no spare time to write. 

I hope that you liked the way I ended it. 

I'm going to write a long author's note to end it correctly. 

And then maybe an epîlogue. I'll think about it ;) 

Thank you so much ! xx