Ace

Failure

After that it all fell silent and again I was surrounded by nothing as I sat on the couch like a statue. I stared at the pale yellow wall in front of me still thinking of how much of a failure I am. Such a failure, in everything I do, to everyone I know. Fail. I heard the door softly clicking as someone slowly turned the handle. Grail peeked his head in and looked at me, I didn't move. He softly side stepped inside closing the door with a small tap.

"Ace, honey?" He asked as he slowly walked over.

"I'm not a trauma patient. You don't have to be all calm and, whatever your being."

He straightened himself leaning back on his heals and nodded.

"Sorry I didn't-"

"I know, just sayin'."

He walked over and sat on the couch resting his head on my shoulder.

"Talk to me."

"You already heard over thought line."

"Both of us know that thought like can be, scrambled it say the least."

I sighed at him, "what you wanna know love?"

"I wanna know what's wrong. Why you're so freaked out about making a livable place. Why you were thinking of your sister."

"Failure Grail, failure. Everything good that ever comes to me I destroy it. I find its weak spot and punch it in so all I need to do is back away the edges until all that's left is a pile of broken pieces. And I do that so I look big, I am the mighty overtaker for that time. When really I'm this coward that's just a broken as the people I back down. I don't let them see it. Gen saw it, I was her broken coward baby brother that couldn't take punishment. So she took it instead. I failed her. I failed you. I keep on failing you. I failed Nikle after he spent all that time digging. He went back to heaven, he could have died. But you know why I can't do it, why I really can't? Because it would truly make me and all mighty overtaker. And I almost slipped today at the simply idea, I don't want to be the person I was in hell to you. And if I become that strong and in control, I can't say I won't... I don't want to hurt you again Grail."

"Hun, love, you won't. I know that you won't, for the very fact that you're worried about it. You're not a broken person, you fixed yourself. You feel guilt, you didn't before. You're different. I believe in you."

I just hugged him, him shifting into my lap and leaning against me.

"I know you do. I know."