The Bucket List ➡️ Ashton Irwin

Chapter 1

"10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... " I whisper as I try to psych myself up. The breeze is a little too heavy for my liking. It makes me feel as though it could blow me off the edge any second. The bar across the street roars with music as people spill out onto the street. No one notices me. It's far too dark up here. The view is immaculate; nothing but lights and buildings for miles in front of me. Brooklyn blurred into Manhattan from up here. Despite the beauty, my fear of heights still weighs heavy on my chest. My toes tingle and my stomach drops with every passing second.

I should be down there with everyone else, celebrating the new year as it reigns in. I should be searching for someone to kiss, or knocking back my tenth margarita with my girlfriends; but I'm not. I thought being twenty would be more fulfilling, but here I am, completely unfulfilled. No fancy degree or job, no car, no friends and no aspirations for the future. Why would the next year be any different? It will be 2019 in a few minutes, and I'm determined to never see a day of it. Twenty years had been far too long to live like this – without purpose, without happiness. Cheers erupt from the bar across the street, and I can see couples beginning to pair off on the balcony. This means that the new year is close. Time to man up and finish this year. Time to go out with a bang. I start from 10 again.

"10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1." I huff out the last number and inhale a large breath before shuffling closer to the edge. I lift up my left leg slightly, getting ready to step off. My feet were still tingling as my stomach fell further. Rustling could be heard close behind me but I choose to ignore it. This was no time for god damn racoons to ruin my moment. I hold onto the small folded piece of paper in my hand and squeeze it as tight I could. It was the only thing that I was sad to leave behind; unfinished. I simply ran out of time. No matter how hard I try push off, my leg stayed stiffly in place. I shake my head and lean a little further off the edge. That's when I hear him.

"Nearly done there?" A voice startles me from behind. It causes me to freak out and jump as far away from the edge as I can. I looked back to see only a shape of a person, the shadow concealing their identity. I quickly put the folded paper I was holding inside my pocket and decide to take a step towards the unidentified person.

"Excuse me?" I yell at the dark figure, my heart beating at a rapid speed.
"Can you hurry it up?" He chuckles and moves closer. The single light on the roof top shines onto the stranger's face. I continue not to answer, and choose to steady my breathing instead.
"I was getting there." I snap. "Until someone decided to join the party." I motion to him, annoyance evident in my voice.
"Sorry." He smiles and surrenders his arms in the air. "Carry on." He steps back with a sarcastic smile. I choose to ignore the random dick and get on with my original plan. He wouldn't matter in a couple of seconds. In fact, no one would. I step back onto the edge, inhale deeply through my nose and out my mouth. I take a few extra breaths to calm myself.

"Need a hand?" He yells across the roof. I shake my head at the impatient asshole with whom I have to share my last moments with. He can wait his turn. I shake out my nerves and lift my foot up again. As I am about to push off, I hear noises from behind me. Humming noises.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I yell back at him.
"Well you're taking your time." He scoffs. "What about all of us who could already be at peace, but instead have to wait for you to grow a pair." He states as he waves his hand around the rooftop as if there is a line of people waiting to jump.
"Just shhhhh." I yell back.

"If you need a nudge, I'm more than happy to- " He begins to suggest.
"I said I'm fine!" I scream. God he was annoying! He continues to hum as I turn my back.
"I would much rather be dead than listen to your annoying shit so please!" I turn and plead that he stops humming.
"What's stopping you?" He asks in almost a whisper.

What was stopping me? Was it my fear of heights? My nerves? Was I even sure about this? Of course, I was. The fireworks that follow scare me even more, but I refuse to move from the edge. After the fireworks end and the cheering from the street dies down, I sigh loudly, showing the guy that I'm even more frustrated.

"Thanks. Thank-you very much!" I yell.
"You're welcome...?" He asks looking confused.
"You dick! I missed my time frame!" He starts laughing at me.
"So, you were planning on ending the year with a big bang aye." He jokes.
Instead of answering, I flip him off.

"Obviously you weren't serious-" he begins to say before I interrupt him.
"You go then." I yell out in frustration and step away from the edge for the third time tonight.
"Alright." He shrugs at me and makes his way to the edge. He takes his coat off, discards it on the dirty rooftop and starts to dramatically stretch out his arms and legs. He turns back with a grin on his face and waves. "Watch and learn."

I begin to process that this annoying dick of a person could possibly be dead in the next few seconds.
"Wait-" I say and reach for one of his arms, which probably isn't the best idea considering he's on the very edge. He pulls out of my grip and shakes his head while chuckling. "You missed your turn sweetheart." Instead of lifting one of his legs and pushing off, he turns and faces me completely. He raises his arms outwards as if his is going to fall off of the building, back first. He looks as if he is hesitating, but then smiles dramatically before exhaling. He then closes his eyes slowly and says "Meet you at the bottom." This is it. He's going do it.

Before I can process what is going on, and before he has time to fall, I race towards him, grab a fist full of his shirt and pull him with all my might. I fall backwards, with him crashing on top of me. The pain on my back is excruciating and I struggle to breathe as I push him off. I manage to push him to the right of me and see that his eyes are still closed and a smile still remains on his face, only this time I notice his dimples. I push him with my hand causing him to open his eyes with his smile still intact.

"No." He shakes his head at me.
"What?" I ask rather annoyed.
"I will not jump with you. And I will under no circumstances hold your hand in the process."
"What?" I ask and cough at the same time, as I reach for my back, touching it to find out where the main source of pain was coming from.
"That's why you saved me right? You don't want to jump alone?" I laugh at his statement. He can't be serious. 

"No! Now that I've seen your face, I can't just let you jump off." I say while gesturing to the edge of the building.
"Oh." He nods while looking at me. "Good because if we were found with our brains spattered near or next to each other, people would start rumours. Like Romeo and Juliet Rumours." He laughs and stands up, brushing the dirt off of his pants.
"That's what you're worried about?" I ask, still in shock.
"It's either that or you are totally into me." He reaches down for my hand to help me up.
"You nearly died!" I shout back, ignoring his hand.

"And I should have."He states matter-of-factly as he retracts his hand and looks around the roof.He finds his coat, picks it up and puts it back on.
"You should have as well." He adds, as he starts walking away.
"Where are you going?" I quickly stand and run after him. 

"Well I'm not staying here. I'm going to get drunk." He says as ifit's obvious. I catch up to him.
"I guess it's time for the awkward goodbye-I-stopped-you-from-killing-yourselfbit ay." He laughs again
"Better luck next time." He smiles and holds out his hand for me toshake.
"I-" I stutter, not knowing how he is so calm about this. He grabs myhand and shakes it with his anyway. 

"We should catch up one day, you know, 'share stories'" He laughs ina high-pitched voice. I look up at him and back to the edge, thinking about howstupid I was for not jumping when I had the chance, and how much I hated himfor stopping me. He notices my hesitation about leaving and pulls me along,down the stairs.

"Come along. We can always try again next year." He says and I can'ttell if he is serious or not.