The Bucket List ➡️ Ashton Irwin

Chapter 25 - Fall in love/get my heart broken (x)

Dear diary, (25/01/2014)

Not a big fan of rejection.

--

"Come on Charles, just one."
"No." I pushed him further away from me.
"Just one, I need to update my profile picture." He pouted, moved closer and lifted up his phone once again.

"Ashton, piss off take one of your self."
"But I want you to be in it," He protested and positioned his phone so that we both fit into frame.
"I just woke up!"
"You still look hot!"
"No."

"Please." He begged and moved even closer.
"Fine." I spat and placed my head next to his. We were laying down, which wasn't the most flattering angle. "You better use a filter."
"A what?" He asked as he took a few shots.
"That's enough." I sat upright just as he tried to snap a few more. He sat up also and scrolled through the photos he had just taken. He seemed to gave deleted some and held up the best one.
"This one." He nodded and held it up for me to see.

My mouth looked kind of pouty and it was nearly on Ashton's cheek. His goofy smile was looking right at the camera.
"I guess." I shrugged and he smiled to himself as he played with his phone a little more.
"We're so cute." He said quietly as it were only meant for his ears.

"There." He said once he was done. "Woah! Three likes already."
"You're a goof." I pushed his shoulder and he set his phone down on the bed side table.
"You love it." He poked his tongue out and I stilled. If only he wasn't joking.

"Charles, are you okay?" He asked as his eyes explored my face. "You look, weird."
"No, I'm fine." I assured him and he pulled me back down on the bed.
"Are you sure?" He asked as he lowered his face near mine and started kissing my jaw.
"Yep." I said quickly. He laughed and moved the kisses in the direction of my mouth. "Ashton-"

"Mmmh Charles?"
I couldn't talk, he placed his lips harshly on mine and I knew they wouldn't be leaving for a while now.
I loved mornings like this. The mornings where we were goofy and he kissed me like this. The way he made me feel special in a matter of minutes.

"Ash." I managed to break away from him
His breath was heavy and mixed with mine as our faces got closer. I shoved him back a tiny bit, wanting his full attention.
"I wanna tell you something." His eyes were closed and I wondered if he had heard me at all. "Ash."

"Mmh, you're so beautiful," He nodded and latched his lips onto my neck.
"Ashton." I said and pushed him further this time.
"What is it Charles?" He whined as he opened his eyes. "You wanna be on top again?"

"No." I said and he furthered his head away. "Could we like, sit up?"
He nodded and got off of me, allowing me to sit up on my bed. He was facing me, and I was facing him. I had his full attention.

Now, in this moment I knew it was the perfect time. He was staring at me in the same way I secretly looked at him.
"Ash, I wanna tell you something." He scooted closer on the bed and smiled. "The past few days I've been thinking and feeling-" I stopped and let out a nervous chuckle.
"Go on," He laughed. I swallowed hard before blurting out the next sentence in one big breath.  "I guess what I'm trying to say is, that I think I'm in love with you. I mean, I guess- I think."

His face was surprised but blank. "You-you what?" He choked out.
"I  think I-" I didn't know what love felt like, but I'm pretty certain that this was it.
"No you don't." He quickly dismissed.
"I do." I stood my ground. "A lot, so much that it hurts." I exaggerated.

"Charlie-" That was all he had to say for me to know what came next. He didn't want me, he didn't feel what I felt. I quickly got up and walked out of the room, hoping he wouldn't follow me. I walked into the kitchen and made sure he was a safe distance away.