MISUSED (NOT EDITED)

14.) "No!" Pt. 1

TANYA
Early May

"Ok for real August move." I said trying be serious but I kept laughing. He came over my house to keep me company when he heard about an episode I had.

I wanted to curse Nina ass out, but I knew she meant well and since she had an exam coming up, I didn't want her to come.

Of course her being Nina, had to tell her brother. Now we were sitting in my living room playing checkers and he was cheating like shit.

"I ain't do shit." He defended and I mugged him. He was a good friend, he had this aura about him that when he came around everyone knew to get the fuck back and to speak if spoken to.

I guess that was one reason I was so scared of his rude ass.

"Cheat again." I warned playing my piece, he thought out his next move, before he moved his piece, which was a king.

"Are you good tho? Like on real?" He asked after replying back to some messages. "I'll be fine.." I replied trying to convince myself.

I cried so hard, I damn near killed myself. I had a panic attack and I swore I was Fred Sandford, clutching my heart and gasping for every piece of air.

I called Nina hysterical and began hyperventilating once she asked what was wrong. I really thought I was doing good with this Ron situation, but in reality the more I pretended to be good, the worse I got.

Ever loved someone so much that when they left, any and everything reminded you of them? Like you could break down anywhere?

Ever felt like they were still connected to you in a sense? I guess that's why they say be careful who you lay with, cuz spirits do travel..

I don't regret sleeping with Ron, he made me feel complete, I just regret not working harder on getting him to stay or at least tell me something.. anything.

"Tanya?" August called giving me a slight look of concern but it quickly disappeared. "I'm sorry.. I did it again." I mumbled looking down at the ring.

I was not only fucked up in the head cuz of my dad, but now losing Ron added onto that and I wasn't sure how much more bad news I could take.

"I'ma head out." He said going to stand but I quickly grabbed his arm. "I'm sorry, I'm not purposely zoning out." I assured him.

I really appreciated him for being cool with me for this long, I knew I was pushing it cuz I would always talk about Ron and stuff, it wasn't fair to him.

No guy even if you were just friends, deserved to sit there every time while you cried and talked about your ex.

Cuz if it were the other way around us females would cause hell and more.

"Let's finish please?" I begged staring at him, he shook his head but didn't move. "Yo move." He simply said and I looked over the board closely before a smirk danced on my lips and I jumped one of his kings and squealed.

"I'ma king now!" I chimed doing a mini happy dance and he chuckled. "How did I miss dat?" He asked more to himself as I studied the board for future wins.

"Do you date?" I asked once we sat and watched T.I. & Tiny the Family Hustle. He beat me in checkers, I don't know how cuz I had everything calculated.

I know he cheated I just couldn't prove it this time. "Depends." He replied replying back to another message.

"I got dis one girl I fuck on occasion, nothing serious. She lost that part of me when she messed with one of my old homies, now I just fuck her when I want it or I go to another one of my hoes spot."