MISUSED (NOT EDITED)

5.) Why Do I Feel So Sad?

TANYA
January 26th, next day

"Thank you." I said to Ron after he put the car in park, I was still on a high from last night.. if that was possible.

"You deserved it." He said looking at me, I bit my lip nervously and looked away. "You want me to pick you up tomorrow?" He asked grabbing my face gently and made me look at him.

"I'll text you." I assured, "ight, stay dope shorty." He replied kissing me on my forehead.. was it bad I wanted him to kiss my actual lips?

"Stay.. you, pretty boy." I teased and he laughed softly. "I can only be me, go head inside tho, cuz I think thas' yo pops watching." He said and my whole body tensed up.

"You cool?" He asked worriedly and I forced a smile. "Yes, see you at work!" I rushed out as I grabbed my stuff and exited out of his car quickly.

I felt him watching but I refused to look back, my dad was burning a hole in the center of my face and I mentally prepared myself for what was to come next.

"He-Hey." I stuttered walking past him when he held the door open. When I didn't hear a reply I turned around and was met with his fist.

"He why you couldn't answer your phone!?" He barked standing over me. "I-I'm Sorry! I put it on silent!" I cried then coward when he hit me again. 

"You wanna be a hoe!?" He yelled moving my arms from my face, "No! STOP!" I begged curling up into a ball when he sent more powerful blows to my arms, face and side.

I waited until he was finished, he poured the alcohol on me then walked out like it was nothing.

I used the wall as support to stand up. "Lord I need your help." I prayed as I winced in pain with every move I made.

When I finally made it to my room, I made it to my bathroom and turned the shower on. I sat on the kitchen floor and just cried silently.

I was in so much pain, we were doing so good, up until now. I should've never went home with Ron and I should've never stayed the night.

I spent the next ten minutes on the floor crying, before I got the strength to get up and climb into the shower after I stripped out of my clothes carefully.

The pain was excruciating and I hated that I was too scared to go to the doctors for my bruises, then they'll ask questions and I just wasn't ready for that yet.

I hated that I was so weak when it came to him, I hate that I never fought back, but just yelled.

I was stuck and I hated it..

I sang lowly while I sat in the tub and let the hot water hit my aching body. I sang until I didn't have my voice any more.

I sang until I couldn't feel the pain.
*
*
February 18th, Wednesday

"How come you've been ignoring my calls and texts?" Ron asked following me to my same booth to eat my lunch.

I've been dodging him for the past three weeks ever since the incident and I really didn't need any reason to piss my dad off.