MISUSED (NOT EDITED)

5.)

TANYA
December 20th

"Dear Lord, can you please take it away? This pain in my heart just follow me by day and at night it stalks me like the shadows on my wall.. oh my goodness, goodness."

I sang one of my old songs, since it described my current issues. I went out and bought a piano and the movers put it in the back room downstairs.

I knew August planned on moving but I really needed this right now. I was being a bitch and he's been giving me the cold shoulder.

It was literally killing me.

"Feeeel like the world is closing on me. Feel like my dreams will never come to meee. I keep on slipping deeper into myself. And I'm scared, so scareddd."

I continued as I played the keys.

"If you're troubledddd. You just gotta let it go. If you're worried, baby.. you just gotta let it go."

"All your hustles ain't for nothing..you just gotta take it slow. When you need me babyyy, all you do is let me know."

I started to get misty eyed as I continued to sing.

"Why does it feel th-." Before I could finish August cut me off scaring the shit out of me.

"Are you still gonna lie and tell me everything fine?" He questioned and I wiped my face and cleared my throat.

"I'm okay." I lied and he chuckled dryly. "All I asked was for you ta keep it real wit me and you've been keeping shit from me since you got back."

He gritted and I avoided looking at him as I tapped my finger on my knee while my heart damn near beeped outside my chest.

"I've always kept it real with you August don't do that." I defended, he licked over his lips and just stared at me.

"So what's dis letter I found?" He asked holding up a piece of paper and I stared at him nervously.

"I was reading some of your fan mail and dis letter that you never sent was in dea.." He glared trying to contain his anger.

"I-I.. August I was scared." I panicked. "What's his name?" He asked staring at me as his chest began to heave up and down.

"It doesn't matter." I mumbled as I rubbed my hands together nervously.

"WHATS HIS NAME?!" He barked punching the wall causing me to jump.

"Don't!" I screamed when he walked up on me. I knew he wouldn't hit me, but I started getting flashbacks.

"Why didn't you tell me Tanya?" He asked in a softer tone as he pulled me into him as I cried.

"You weren't speaking to me! I NEEDED YOU AND YOU SHUT ME OUT!" I yelled as I began punching him all over.

"I HATE YOU!" I continued and he just stood there and took it being sure to block his face tho.

"I NEEDED YOU AND YOU WERENT THERE! YOU LEFT!!" I shouted as I tried to fight to get out of his hold.

"You weren't there." I sobbed dropping down and he sat on the floor and pulled me into him.

"I'm sorry baybeh.. I didn't kno ma.. I didn't kno." He said as his voice trembled.