No, not the anime.
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{ Once upon a time, there were three little Jedha friends. Their names were Baze, Bodhi, and Chirrut and they were the best of friends.
They all decided to build a house. Little Chirrut said "I'm going to build a house of stick!" And that's what he did.
Suddenly the Big Bad Krennic came along. And he said "Little Chirrut, Little Chirrut, let me come in!"
And Little Chirrut said "No! Not by the hair on my Chinney Chin-Chin!"
Krennic then said "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!" And he grabbed his Death Star. And he activated the laser and blew the house in. Little Chirrut ran away to find Little Baze.
He found Little Baze, who said "I am going to build a house of brick!" And Little Baze did just that. He and Little Chirrut lived together happily until...
The Big Bad Krennic came along and said "Little Baze, Little Baze, let me come in!"
And Little Baze said "No! Not by the hair on my Chinney Chin-Chin!"
Krennic then said "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!" And he grabbed his Death Star. And he activated the laser and blew the house in. Little Baze and Little Chirrut ran away to find Little Bodhi.
Little Bodhi had made his house of steel. He invited Little Chirrut and Little Baze into his house. And they lived happily together until...
The Big Bad Krennic came along and said "Little Bodhi, Little Bodhi, let me come in!"
And Little Bodhi said "No! Not by the hair on my Chinney Chin-Chin!"
Krennic then said "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!" And he grabbed his Death Star. And he activated the laser and blew the house in. Little Bodhi and friends ran away.
They hid throughout Jedha until they met Little Cassian and Little K-2SO. They all travelled to Yavin IV and decided to steal the Death Star Plans. The five Little friends piled into a little ship and flew to a little planet called Scarif. There, they fought bravely.
Then they met the Big Bad Krennic. "No houses this time, huh?" Krennic laughed. "Then I shall blow up your escape!" And Little Bodhi ran back to the little ship to protect it but ended up dying with it. Then Little Baze and Little Chirrut were shot. Little Cassian and Little K-2SO escaped to the nearby Big Bad Scarif Tower.
And then the Bigger Badder Tarkin came along and said "Big Bad Krennic, Big Bad Krennic, give me the Death Star."
"No!" Said Big Bad Krennic. "Not by the hair of my Chinney chin-chin!"
Tarkin said "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow Scarif in!" And he stole the Death Star. And he huffed and he puffed and he activated the laser and blew Scarif in. And that was the end of them all. }
Gareth Edwards: No
Kathleen Kennedy: Why not? We take a classic fairy tale and turn it into an amazing movie adaptation! Keep the Disney feel to it all!
Gareth Edwards: ...
Gareth Edwards: Fine. But we need a little girl
Dave Filoni: Here, drink some gin and think about it
Gareth Edwards: THAT'S IT!!
Gareth Edwards: WE WILL NAME THE LITTLE GIRL JYN!!
Gareth Edwards: And we'll make Krennic blow her house in too!
Dave Filoni and Kathleen Kennedy: Yay!!!
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Rogue One is really like the Three Little Pigs, if you ask me.
(And yes I realize Dave Filoni is associated with SWR instead)
I'm going to start doing a question of the day/chapter!
What book/movie/show/ etc does Rogue One remind you of?
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rogue 1 crack
RandomWhat am I doing with my life..? A collection of how Rogue One went down. IN CRACK FORM!! Some mature humor.
