I Loved You First // Jerrie Fanfic

Chapter 36

So a couple days after everything I heard from that she's already in a relationship with Zayn and it sucks that I hear it from people who don't even know i'm her ex and what she did to me. To get my mind off of things I started to go boxing with Liam 3 days a week that really did help me. I can't even describe what I'm feeling right now. I thought losing her would be the worst thing to ever happen to me but being replaced is the worst. I was never good enough for her and I will never be. She just left me for someone she barely knows and replaced me in less than a week. My self esteem just went low, I feel like nobody is really ever gonna want me and that i'll never be good enough for anybody. Every night i'm in my bed overthinking, I can't even sleep, it's been 3 weeks now but I still can't get things off my mind, i'm still sad. My parents have been asking me what's wrong with me for the past week but I just ignored them and today they asked again.

"Jade, what's wrong you've been like this for weeks now. What are you hiding from us?" My mom asked.

"I think she had a fight with Perrie, I saw her alone on the bus today, normally they're always together." My brother interrupted.

"No one asked you anything." I said with an angry voice.

"Why did you fight?" Mom asked.

"No reason, it's not important."

That same day I recieved a text from Perrie.

Perrie: i'm sorry

Jade: Fuck off, you really think sorry is gonna help? And we both know you're not even sorry.

Perrie: You can't blame me

Jade: Oh God you're always acting like the victim and i'm sick of it.

Perrie: I'm not acting like the victim.

Jade: what would your oh so perfect boyfriend do if he knew the truth?

Perrie: No you can't do this.

Jade: do what? He deserves to know the truth doesn't he?

Perrie: pls Jade no, i'm begging you please don't tell him

Jade: Hmmmmmm

Because of what I said she kept calling me. At first I didn't pick up but later on I answered and she was crying. Damn I can't believe she's crying for him like they've been together for how long? 2 days? She's just so fucking disgusting I can't anymore. I just hung up and then something unexpected happened. Her mom called me and threatened me. It was clear that Perrie didn't even tell her the truth. Her mom thinks i'm a stalker or something that doesn't leave her alone.

Well, I figured maybe I could tell my mom about this, maybe it would be better if I told her, maybe she can help but I don't know how to begin and I can't tell her the entire truth that would be my death. So a week later we went out to dinner just the two of us.

"Are you and Perrie okay again?" She asked.

"No, we will never be."

"What, why?"

"I never want to see her again."

"What did she do?"

"It's just we were kinda talking to each other in a not friendly way, and then she just replaced me with someone else."

"What?? In a not friendly way??"

"She told me she had feelings for me, so I tried to back off but I couldn't." I lied I made it look like Perrie wanted me but in reality I wanted her.

"I can't believe this Jade, I thought you were a smart girl. How could you? Don't you have any shame? I'm just so dissapointed in you."

Well, that was the reaction I was expecting to get but still was hoping I wouldn't get this. Now I regret telling her, she didn't talk to me for 2 days. And it made just everything worse. Why is life so hard. First of all I love someone who just cheated on me and replaced me and I can't even love her cause no one fucking allows me to love her since my family is so homophobic. I feel like i'm worth nothing, everyone leaves me, everyone can replace me. The girl I used to love so much did this to me. She broke me, she destroyed me. Even though I hate what she did to me I will never hate her. It does hurt to see her everyday in class and she just talks openly about her boyfriend to everyone. Why? Why is she so desperate to have a boyfriend, she's so selfish and doesn't think about my feelings. I'm not saying she has to be with me forever, she could've just broken up with me instead of putting me trough this.

New chapter. And yeah my life sucks this is what happened to me and what I feel like, but there's more coming so get ready. Leave a comment and vote.