I Loved You First // Jerrie Fanfic

Chapter 42

The next day I had class in the morning. I got up and got ready. I saw Perrie was still sleeping so I left without saying anything. Lucy doesn't have class today so she won't be alone. I hoped that when I came back Perrie was still gonna be there but when I opened the door I only saw Lucy and there was no Perrie to be seen.

"Where is Perrie?" I asked sitting on the couch.

"She left like an hour ago. She went to that hotel." Lucy said sitting at the table.

"Ow." I said with a weak voice.

"I was gonna tell her to stay here but I know you don't want that so I didn't." Lucy explained and I nodded.

"What happened last night?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You're being weird and Perrie was also being weird this morning. Oh my God did you guys hook up??"

"What! No!" I yelled.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, i'm sure. We were just watching the movie and then we started to talk and then she suddenly kissed me."

"Oh my God, she kissed you? Did you pull away?"

"I didn't..." I said looking away.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"This is the reason why I didn't want her to stay here. This happens every single time. She leaves and then comes back like nothing ever happened. And the same thing happens with my feelings. When she left it took me a while to get over it but now that she's back the feelings are also back. But i'm also pretty sure that she's not gonna come back but the feelings are still here and I hate it." I explained.

"How do you know she's not coming back?"

"Because that's how she is. She comes and then leaves expecting me to go after her. And me being the stupid Jade I always ran after her. But this time i'm not doing that."

"I talked to her this morning. It seems like she really regrets everything. And I think she wants you back."

"Well, I don't want her back. She's done enough harm to me."

"Are you sure? Jade, you haven't had a girlfriend ever since you and Perrie broke up, don't tell me it hasn't anything to do with her."

"It does. Thanks to her I have trust issues and i'm scared to commit. That's why I've been single ever since."

"Is it really that, or was she the only person that you've ever been in love with and she's the only one that you actually want to be with?" She asked.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked as I bended over and put my elbows on my knees and held my head between my hands.

"A part of me just wants her to show me that she loves me. I want her to fight for me like I always fought for her. And I know it's not gonna happen but I still have hope in me."

"It's okay, Jade. Who knows maybe she'll come back and fight for you like she should do." Lucy said standing up from the table and sitting next to me on the couch.

"Yeah, she's not that kind of person. She likes recieving attention but not giving attention. She wants people to run after her but would never run after someone herself. She's the most selfish person i've ever met. I honestly don't know why I like her, and why I even started liking her in the first place."

"It's called love, Jadey. You can't choose who you love."

"That sucks." I said laughing.

A few days passed by and like expected there was no sound of Perrie. Everyday I hoped that I would hear something from her, but I didn't.

Lucy left to go to a party but I just stayed home because I wasn't feeling well. It was around 10pm and someone knocked on the door. I thought Lucy forgot something but when I opened the door it was Perrie.

"Hi." She said smiling.

"What is it with you and showing up late at my door?"

"I honesly don't know, I always seem to find myself here after 10pm." She said and I smiled.

"Can I come in?" She asked and I nodded as I widened the door.

"What brings you here?" I asked as we both sat on the couch.

"I didn't think I was gonna see you again." I added.

"I moved in my new appartment today."

"Oh really, how is it?"

"It's nice, feels a little bit lonely but that's okay."

"You should look for a roommate." I suggested.

"Yeah, I should. Sorry for leaving without saying anything. I was gonna pass by but I was dealing with the appartment stuff so I came today."

"Ow. It's okay."

"I'm also sorry I kissed you like that." She said looking me in the eyes.

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting that."

"Me neither. I just had to do it. I know this is gonna sound stupid and you have every right to be mad at me but the reason why I actually came here in the first place was to win you back. I can't stop thinking about you..."

"I just, I don't believe you. You always do this when you're lacking attention but then when a hot guy comes along you leave me for him."

"Jade, that was four years ago and we were teens. I'm not the same person  that I was back then. And like I said I was confused about ny sexuality but now i'm not. I'm very sure I like girls and i'm a 100% sure I like you."

"Well, what do you want me to say "oh Perrie i'm taking you back??" I said raising my voice.

"No. I just want you to give me a chance to show you that I can love you. I'm ready to fight for you, Jade. I'm willing to do anything it takes as long as you just let me do it."

"Okay."

"W-what? Okay?" She said stuttering.

"You're probably gonna give up in like  3 days anyways so."

"No, i'm not. This time i'm here to stay." She said putting her hand on mine but I pulled my hand away.

"We'll see." I said standing up.

"I've lost everything. But losing you hurt the most."

"I can say the same thing about you." I said sitting back next to her on the couch.

"I'm honestly so glad that you aren't in a relationship right now because I wouldn't have handled that well."

"Well, you're always lucky."

We continued talking until 2pm and then she decided to go to her own appartment. It's like it's happening all over again. I'm falling in love with her again.

Updateee. Sorry for updating slow. I have another story called "hope for it" that i'm also trying to update frequently, so it's hard to update both of them. But anyways hope you liked this chapter. Please vote and comment!