Rayne Drops (FFXV)

LVII) Year Two

            I set the scraps from my last meal aside and stretch my arm over my head. The goblins outside my confined space are satisfied, preparing for their daily rush outdoors. I'm sure a group of flan will join them this time. Hopefully. Their constant bubbling and squishing and growling is starting to keep me up. It's driving me insane, not that I can go much further down that rabbit hole.

Sighing, I push myself to my feet and pace around the fire crystal. It's consistent light and warmth has proven invaluable this past year. I tried absorbing its power far too many times. Nothing happens but a slight cramp in my arm. Not even a spark leaps off the grayed rock. I spend my free time watching the orange glow of the element flow through the crystal, wondering what Ardyn ever did with the amulet. What did he need it for? Just another branch he's torn from the power I used to possess.

Even now, after all this fighting, I find myself reaching up to clasp the cerulean stone and summon a wave of ice onto my blade. Even now I find myself trying to catch myself on my right arm only to suddenly remember Altissia and Arma and Luna. How I couldn't save Ignis from the suffering he's no doubt wrestling today. And then I think of Wyn—how I couldn't save him either. I think of Noct and wonder if he was really reunited with the Crystal or if he was in dire need of our help and I convinced everyone else to leave him behind. With my track record, it's not unlikely.

That power I used to possess, the power I took such pride in, caused the pain of so many people who didn't deserve it. I almost want to thank the gods for stealing it away. Then again, they cursed me with this light that refuses me my demise as a slave of Ardyn. My mother wanted me to defeat him, to destroy the dark. Or at least to use the power to assist Noctis. But now... All I use this cursed light for is saving myself like a selfish child, unable to fathom sharing it. If I ever left to heal the hunters I hear screaming out in the darkness from time to time, I might just lose control and leave them the same way I left Locke.

The thought that it was impossible for me to save the real Arma... It's almost worse that I can't blame myself. He died knowing nothing of Mara Amans and the deceit our father led us in through all those years. He died oblivious to the truth and only with the knowledge that some light, some stark contrast to Insomnia, was eating him up from the inside out. At least he saved a member of the Glaive... who most likely fell at the hands of the empire soon after the Crown City's fall.

Turning around, I catch a glimpse of a shine across my cellphone's scratched screen. I haven't turned it on since I left, afraid that the torture of seeing their names and words and hearing their voices would drag me further into the dark. I settle on top of my bedroll, leaning back against the jagged, slimy wall with a hefty sigh and shutting my eyes. But now that I'm settled in here... What's the harm in knowing they're okay? Even without knowing their whereabouts, the darkness tried to drag me outside and to their doorstep. Now... I don't see the harm in it at all. Even if Noct tried calling... No, I would be the last on his list.

Peeling open my eyes, I carefully lift the phone off the ground, turning it over and over in my hand before pressing the power button firmly. There's a sharp click that comes with the aging of the device. I guess leaving it on a pile of rocks covered in some mysterious cave-slime wasn't the best idea. The screen flickers for a second before coming to life and showing the clear image of my lock-screen.

Right there, behind the demanding square of digits and a clock announcing the arrival of the "afternoon", is the group photo we took before leaving Altissia. Gladio and Prompto are as photogenic as ever. Noctis, Cid, and some of the others smile brightly, happy to be reunited but fearing the future. They had every right. And we thought we had problems before Accordo. Signum, Iris, and Talcott grasp at some invisible joy. Ignis can see. I can see. I can see those glittering green eyes, so full of intelligence and honest contentment. Cor and I... we look genuinely happy, excited even. Relieved that this was all coming to an end. Little did we know... Gods. This is a bad idea.