Anger Issues

eighteen

Austin

I got home and ran to my room, shutting the door before rapidly looking around my room for signs that would hopefully confirm that we were safe.

There wasn't many places to look. I checked around my bed and saw nothing, even in the bathroom.

Then one idea hit me. I went to my room and grabbed the trash can, emptying out everything. Still, nothing.

My heart was beating fast and I felt blood surge through every inch of me. I ran my fingers through my hair and paced around my room.

The door opened as Caleb walked in. "Aust- what the hell happened?" He asked.

"Get out," I said. "Austin-" "Caleb, go. I'm not in the mood.'

He hesitated for a few seconds before leaving my room. As soon as the door shut, with all my force, I kicked the side of my bed.

"Gosh," I sighed. What the hell is wrong with me. Why would I not remember.

I fell to the ground behind the door to my room, contemplating the effects of my reckless actions.

Did I hurt her?

What was going to happen?

What would we do?

What would she do?

What would I do?

Anything I could think of, I thought of way more than I should have. My mind was filled with my thoughts and nothing more.

Closing my eyes, I leaned my head back against the wall. I couldn't tell Jessica about this, I just got her mind off of it.

No, that's not right.

I wouldn't tell Jessica. I wouldn't be able to see the hurt on her face again if I tell her what happened.

It took a few minutes for me to calm down and get back up. I cleaned up the mess I made, grabbed my phone, and went downstairs.

As I reached the main floor, my dad stopped me.

"What do you want for dinner?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I'm not even hungry."

I brushed past his side but his grip around my arm brought me back.

"What's going on with you?" He asked. "Nothing," I denied. "I need to practice for the talent show," I said.

He unconvincingly nodded his head and dropped his grip on my arm.

It was another lie. I hadn't even auditioned for the talent show. I didn't even know if we were having a talent show

As I got to the studio, I turned on my music and improvised dances to each song. My body naturally moved to the beat, taking my mind off of everything.

Dance always did that. It was my escape. It cleared my mind for a while, and gave me something positive to think about.

Various songs passed, and by that time I was sitting on the ground with my phone in my hand, looking through social media, when I got a text from our dance coach.

Coach
Show in three weeks. Try not to miss any practices. Groups, pairs & solos will be announced.

I smiled at the text. My passion for dancing was like no other. I've done it since I was three and have never stopped.

I finally got up and made my way upstairs, where my parents were cleaning up the kitchen. 

"Austin, are you sure you're not hungry?" Mom asked. "I'm not, thanks though," I said, before jogging upstairs.

I pulled out a pair of clean clothes before taking a shower to freshen up from my day.

As I returned to my room, I grabbed my books and got my homework with as quick as I could.

Well, I tried to. The entire time, my mind drifted back to the same topic as it was at earlier.

I didn't even know what to think, but ironically, it was all I could think about.

Later at night, I couldn't even sleep. The thought kept reoccurring and my mind was unable to escape it. I didn't know what to do, but thankfully, sleep took away the thoughts.