Anger Issues

fifty

Jessica

When I got home, Mom was already there. "You didn't go to work?" I asked. "I left early," she said.

The stress she had was showing. Her eyes were red and she looked unhappy. I wasn't even sure of what I could do.

"Where's Dad?" I asked. She shrugged. "Work." Her words came out more like a question.

Nite came running down the hall, jumping onto my legs before I picked him up.

"Do you need anything?" I asked. She shook her head. "Why don't you invite Austin, or Kayla over. You don't need to worry about me," she suggested.

My mood dropped. "No.. not today, I have a lot of work," I lied, putting down Nite before walking towards Mom.

"Can I help you at all?" I asked. She shook her head. "I just needed a day off, I'll be fine," she said.

I nodded my head, going to my room. I closed the door and sat by my desk, pulling out my phone and whatever homework I had to do.

A few minutes after I started, I heard a knock on my door. I turned as it opened, and Noah walked in. I immediately remembered the events from the morning, and mentally facepalmed.

I stayed quiet until he sat beside me. "Where is it?" I finally asked. "Don't worry," he said. I couldn't even make eye contact with him. I was letting down everyone, whether I knew it or not.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" He asked. "I wasn't," I said. I really wasn't. I stopped myself, but eventually gave in.

"Jess," he sighed. "You're seriously gonna regret this so much sooner than anything. Do you even realize how young you are?" He asked. "Yeah," I quietly said, looking at my hands while I played with my fingers.

"Why are you doing it?" He calmly asked. "I don't know," I lied. "Are you trying to relieve yourself with that bull-" "Stop, Noah!" I snapped. "Jeez, just leave me alone, please!" I yelled.

I immediately regretted shouting when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Within seconds, Mom walked into my room.

"What happened?" She asked. "Nothing," I sighed, looking at my work. Both of them stayed quiet. Eventually, I heard Noah leave the room, and then Mom.

I got up and closed the door, wanting nothing but to bawl my eyes out. I wanted to just go to an empty place where nobody was, and just cry my eyes out until I felt relieved because honestly, constantly stopping myself from doing so was getting old.

I did it anyway, though. I pushed back the feels and focused on my work again, taking as long as I could to fill the day.

By the time I finished my homework, I still had so much time leftover. Sighing, I went downstairs and grabbed Nite along with his collar, taking him for a walk.

I ended up walking him to the park that wasn't far from home. I immediately regretted it once I realized how cold it really was, but I still stayed for a little and watched him run around in excitement.

While I waited, my phone rang in my pocket.

Austin

My heart skipped a beat, and I didn't even hesitate to answer. "Hello?" I asked, hopeful of his forgiveness.

I got no answer, but I heard his, Caleb and Becca's voices.

"Hello?" I repeated, still getting nothing. The three of them were laughing at what I assumed was something on TV.

He accidentally called me, I guessed.

I hung up, slipping my phone back into my pocket before grabbing Nite, and walking home.

I couldn't help but shed a few tears along the way. Nobody was around, luckily, but the sun was going down and the brightness of the sky made it even harder not to cry.

I composed myself as I inched closer home, hoping to walk in without looking suspicious.

I let Nite free, and walked into the kitchen, only to see Noah there.

"Where's Mom?" I asked. "She went to the store," he bluntly said. I knew I shouldn't have, but I asked anyway.

"Where did you put it?" I asked. He immediately knew what I was talking about. "Don't worry," he said. "Noah, stop. Just give it back," I argued.

He paused, shrugging. "I threw it out," he said. My mouth fell open. "Are you serious?" I asked. "Those are expensive! I didn't even buy-" I stopped myself. "You're such an ass," I shook my head, rushing towards the stairs.

"I'm an ass for trying to stop you from ruining your life?" He asked. "You're an ass for acting like you own me!" I shouted, turning around. "I'm not acting like I own-"

"You have no right to take my things and throw them out, Noah," I spoke through gritted teeth. He had an angry smile on his face, but it quickly wiped away.

"I do when you're doing dumb shit like that," he said. I shook my head, not even bothering to stop the tears.

"Fuck you," I said, before rushing to my room. I heard him shout my name behind me, but I ignored him. As soon as I reached my room, I locked the door and leaned against it, covering my mouth.

I didn't even know what I was doing to myself.