Anger Issues

fifty one

Austin

I was doing homework, when I realized that I loaned Jess some of the notes she missed out on, and needed them back.

Grabbing my phone, I called her.

"Hello?" She answered after a couple rings. She was upset. Her voice was low and she didn't sound like herself at all.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Nothing. Why did you call?" She asked. I paused for a second, then decided that if she didn't want to tell me, she didn't have to.

"Um.. do you have the notes I leant you?" I asked. "Yeah," she said. "Could you send me a picture of them please, I need them for an assignment," I explained. "Yeah, sure," she agreed. "Thank you, bye."

I felt bad for not trying to comfort her, but with the way she'd been acting lately, I wasn't sure if trying would have made a difference.

—

In the morning, I texted Jess to see if she was going to school.

Me
Are you up?

Jessica
Yeah

Me
Am I picking you up

Jessica
You don't have to

I wanted to clear things up with her, and if she was willing to, then I would try.

Me
I'll be there in a few

Jessica
Can you get me from the corner please

Me
Sure

I went downstairs and grabbed the first waffle I saw, taking a bite into it. I said bye to everyone, before getting into my car, and driving towards Jess' house.

I stopped at the corner, and saw her walking down the block. As she inched closer, I got out and walked towards her. Saying nothing, I wrapped my arms around her.

I could tell she was shocked after our 'argument,' when she hesitated to hug me back. Once she did, I held her even tighter.

"I love you," I told her. I felt her fingers curl again my shoulders, and her head bury into my neck. "I love you, too," she said.

I held her for another few seconds, planting a soft kiss on the side of her head, before we got into the car.

As I started driving, I slipped my hand into hers. "What happened last night?" I asked. "Nothing, why?" She questioned. "You were upset, I heard the way you were talking," I explained.

She shook her head. "Nothing, it's fine."

I didn't believe her, but I agreed anyway. Glancing at her, she stared forward blankly. I couldn't even read the expression on her face.

Jessica

After school, Austin met me by my locker again. Throughout the day, the only conversations I could focus on weren't even mine. There was always a certain group of people in each class that talked about getting high or doing any drugs at all, and I couldn't help but hear in on them.

When I got high the other night, I felt amazing. I was finally laughing after such a long time.

"Can you come over for a bit?" He asked, slipping his arm around my waist. I wasn't sure, but I nodded my head anyway.

When we drove to his house, it was still empty. Nobody had gotten home yet.

"Aus, can I ask you something?" I asked him. He nodded his head, waiting for me to continue. "Remember the pen you got me?" I asked. His expression slowly morphed into a worried one.

"Yeah.." he said. "Who'd you get it from?" I asked. "Why?" He questioned. I shrugged. "Just wondering," I said.

"Don't worry," he shook his head. "Are they in our grade, at least?" I asked. "Jess," he started. "Why are you asking?" He asked. "I told you, I'm just-"

"What happened to the pen I gave you?" He cut me off. I hesitated to speak. "Noah found it.." I slowly spoke. His eyes widened.

"Are you serious?" He asked. "I'm sorry. He found it in my room because I forgot to put it away, and-" "When was this?" He asked.

"Like, two days-" I cut myself off, realizing how bad I fucked up. "You got high?" He whisper-yelled.

"No- yes- I.." I trailed off, not even knowing what to say. "Jess what the hell?" He questioned. "What does it matter?" I asked, dropping my arms to the side. "It does matter," he said. "Why?" I asked. He looked at me sternly. "Are you seriously asking me that question?"

"Jess.. you are not in the position to be getting high like that!" He scolded me. "What other reason would I have?" I asked. "You don't. You never did and especially not now!" He shouted.

I paused at his loud voice. I usually wasn't afraid of it until now.. I wasn't even sure why.

"Why did you do it?" He asked, lowering his voice. I shrugged. "I don't know.. it just happened," I said. He closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead.

"Don't do that," I sighed. I was already feeling like shit for everything that happened in the past month. Nobody was helping me out of this mood.

"Don't do what?" He asked. "That! Stop acting like I can't do anything! You and Noah have both been doing that and it's-"

"Because you're off the fucking rails, Jess!"