Anger Issues

forty three

Jessica

"I'm fine," I said, balancing myself again. "I didn't eat yet," I said.

"You're not fucking fine," Noah said, still angry. "If you were going to act like this, I wouldn't have told you," I argued with him.

"How else am I supposed to act? Happy?" He asked. "Both of you, stop. Can we please just figure out what to do?" Austin cut us off.

Noah sighed. "We can't go today. We need an appointment, and a check-up, and-" "So when can we do it?" I cut him off.

"Mom has your health records so we need those first. There's no way we can do it today," he said. "When?" I asked.

"I don't know, Jess. I've never had to so this before," he said. I stayed quiet.

All of us did.

"Please don't tell anyone, Noah," I softly said. He hesitantly nodded. "I won't."

All of us took a seat, lost in thought.

"Can you explain, please?" Noah finally asked. I didn't even know where to start. Telling anyone this was just announcing to them that we were drunk and reckless. Stupid teenagers, basically.

"It was my fault," Austin said, before I could even speak. "I had a party, and everyone was drunk," he said. "A pa- when?" He asked. "A few weeks ago," Austin said.

"Jess, you drink?" Noah asked.

That's when I lost it. In the family I was always seen as a good kid. Good grades, good daughter, taking care of myself. But now I couldn't handle it.

"Yeah, I do, Noah.. I did," I said, growing teary. "And I've smoked and I party and I do things that can be so stupid," I said, nearly sobbing by the end of it.

Austin immediately put his hand on my back. "I'm not who you think I am, Noah," I said.

"How often have you done this?" Noah asked, glancing at Austin. "Before Austin and I got together, so please don't blame him," I said.

I used my sleeves to wipe my eyes, sniffing. I forced myself to stop crying, doing my best to compose myself.

I leaned my head on Austin's shoulder. I just wanted to go to sleep, wake up and realize that this entire thing was just a dream. All of it.

"Do you guys want to keep it?" Noah asked.

On the bright side, he was finally calm.

"I think so," I said. I felt Austin softly nod his head.

"Why did you say you might be pregnant?" He asked.

I lifted my head slowly, getting ready to explain a mouthful.

"I got symptoms earlier this week, a lot of them. I took five tests, three were negative and two were positive. I thought that I had to be pregnant because with all the symptoms it just made sense, but now I don't know," I explained.

"When did you take tests?" Noah asked. "You weren't home. Nobody was," I said.

I ended up going to my room and grabbing the sticks, bringing them down to show him.

He looked at each of them. Three negative. Two positive.

He looked just as confused as we were.

"Look, I'll do whatever I can, okay?" He said. "Just give me time. And help me, please. When I need to grab your things from moms office, make sure she's distracted," he said. I nodded my head. "I'll try my best to have an appointment tomorrow," he added.