Anger Issues

forty

Austin

When I got home, suddenly all the anger that built inside of me from the day was urging to explode out of me.

I went to my room and closed the door, pacing around as I rushed my hands through my hair.

I grabbed the closest thing to me, a book from school, and chucked it at the wall. The loud thud was followed by a picture frame falling, and shattering on the ground.

My door burst open as Caleb came in.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He asked. "Get out, Caleb, I'm not joking," I said, trying to push him out.

He put his arms over mine and stopped me.

"Bro, what happened?" He asked.

"Go away," I said, close to yelling. I shoved him off of me, only for him to push me against the wall.

"Will you stop freaking out and talk? You always do this and we never know why," he argued.

I breathed out angrily. Both of us glared into each other's eyes.

"Jess might be pregnant," I finally said.

His expression softened, and he let go of my arms. "Are you deadass?" He asked.

I nodded my head. He shut my door, and started thinking.

"H-how did you let this happen?" He asked. "We were drunk as fuck, bro," I explained.

"When?" He asked. I sighed, trying to explain as quick as possible.

"When mom and dad went out for a couple days, and you were on campus.. Becca was still at the competition and I threw a party," I explained.

He took a few seconds to process the information, sitting down only to stand back up again.

"Austin," he sighed, putting his hands on his face in stress. "You guys are sixteen," he said with anger.

"Yeah, I'm aware. Don't you think I know how stupid I was?" I argued. "First of all, calm the fuck down," he said.

I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning against the wall.

"What do you mean by might be?" He asked.

"She's had symptoms, and took two tests. One said pregnant and the other said she's not," I explained. "Who else knows?" He asked after seconds.

"Nobody," I strictly said. "Don't say anything," I added. "Come on, bro, you have to be kidding," he sighed.

"You know, I told you so you could help me, not to bring me down about it," I shoved him. "I will help," he said, immediately stopping me.

"Has she gone to the doctor yet?" He asked. I shook my head. "We tested today."

He stood up, stammering on his words. "Just.. have her take two more tomorrow. Let me know what happens and I'll.. I'll think of something," he said.

I nodded my head, looking down.

We stayed in silence for about a minute, before he spoke again.

"Do you know what you'd do if.. she is?" He asked. I looked up at him. "I don't know yet.. she said she wants it, and.. I'm gonna do whatever she wants," I said.

"Do you want it?" He asked. "It's our kid," I said. "We shouldn't get rid of it."

For some reason, my thoughts were clearer now. We'd have a kid, Jess and me.

I'd be a father.. she'd be a mother. We could raise the kid together. I've always wanted kids, just.. not this soon.

I started thinking even further. Teenagers have had children before, and they were happy.

Then I thought.. what if my parents didn't want me? Or Caleb, or Becca? It was a horrible feeling.

"We'd have to keep it," I said, pulling myself out of my thoughts. "Listen, whatever happens," he stood up. "You better not ever leave her alone," he spoke solemnly. I nodded, speaking weakly. "I wouldn't."