Anger Issues

forty five

Austin

Jess went to her room just to pass out again. That's when I knew that this was her coping method- avoiding it, and everything else.

I was sitting on the chair in her room, lost in my thoughts.

My first chance of having a kid was stripped away from me before I could even hear it's heartbeat.

I put my fingers between my eyes, as tears slowly streamed down my face.

Why did this happen to us? How did it happen to us?

Jess hadn't even done anything. After the party, she wasn't drinking or smoking. Until the one day we went to a New Years party, and she drank a little but if champagne. It still didn't make sense. She had one cup, it couldn't have done anything.

I wiped my eyes and cleaned myself up, continuing to do nothing but think.

After a couple minutes, Noah knocked on the door, quietly calling me out of the room.

We stayed in silence for a few seconds, until I spoke up. "I don't know what to say," I shrugged.

I couldn't even look him in the eyes when I spoke.

"We'll take care of it," he assured me. "But you guys can't do this stupid shit anymore," he said, sternly. "I know," I nodded.

"She's my sister, Austin," he continued. "She doesn't tell me everything she tells you. I can't help her as much as you can," he said. I nodded my head. "I know."

He sighed after a couple seconds. "I need to go out and just.." he motioned to his head. "Yeah, yeah, go ahead," I said. "Can I trust you?" He asked.

Normally I would think he was joking. But in the given situation, plus the fact that I couldn't even think of laughing made me completely skip over that thought.

"Yeah," I nodded.

He walked away after a few seconds. I walked back to Jess' room, hearing his car turn on and drive away.

I finally pulled out my phone, seeing multiple notifications.

Becca
Wya

Becca
Mom and dad are mad ur in trouble

I sighed before quickly responding.

Me
Tell them to do whatever they want. I'm coming home later.

Mom
Missed Call (13)

Dad
Missed Call (9)

Mom
Where are you

Mom
Why aren't you in school

Mom
Answer your phone

Dad
You're grounded. Come home.

I just ignored my parents before moving on. It's not like they'd listen to what I have to say, anyway.

Caleb
Missed Call (4)

Caleb
What happened

Caleb
I got mom & dad to lay off a little

Caleb
Bro at least answer your phone and tell me what happened

Me
We're not having it.

Me
It's dead.

Caleb immediately called me multiple times. I ignored it various times, as it only brought on more tears, until I finally answered.

Stepping outside of her room, I slowly closed the door before answering.

"What, Caleb? I told you what the fuck happened," I answered, annoyed. "Austin.." he spoke softly.

"Why? What happened?" He asked. "I don't know. The doctors don't, either," I explained. "Well can you tell me what happened during the appointment?" He asked.

"What do you want me to tell you?" I asked. "She got checked and they didn't say anything. We were getting a sonogram and we saw.." I trailed off, my voice about to crack.

"We saw the ba-by," I said. "And they were gonna let us hear the heartbeat but there was none. We don't know why, or how, or what the fuck happened to cause it," I explained, growing angry.

I shut my eyes as tears flooded out. Thank God nobody was at her house.

I put my fist against the wall, silently crying.

"When are you coming home?" Caleb asked, sincerity in his voice. "I don't know. Noah needed time so nobody else is home for Jess. I'm not leaving her alone," I said.

"Don't," he agreed. "Just call me, please," he said.

Without continuing the conversation, I ended the call.

Taking a minute to compose myself, I walked back into the bedroom. It didn't take long before she woke up, finally.

I turned towards her, not sure if I should speak or not.

She immediately looked like she wanted to cry.

We stood up in sync. She was about to walk past me, but I put my hands on her waist and stopped her before she could.

"Let go, Austin," she said. "Please, Jess," I begged. "Just talk to me."

She stepped back, looking at me. Her eyes were growing even more red as she continued to fight back the tears that were forcing their way out.

"What do you want me to say, Austin?" She asked. I stayed quiet. I wasn't sure, I just needed her to talk.

"That we fucked up, and we could've had a child but I did something wrong and now we can't?!" She asked.

"You did not do anything wrong," I immediately said, furrowing my eyebrows. "What else would have happened?" She asked.

I was going to speak, but she already beat me to it.

"I was carrying the baby, Austin. I was the only one in charge of how the baby could've turned out, and I did something so.. so fucking wrong that we can't even have it. What else is there to blame?"

A/N: Jess 😭😭 y'all I'm ngl I'm really enjoying this part of the story