Lucas rings the doorbell. Tommy Wiseau from the room answers it.
Lucas: Well, Tommy, I made it- despite your directions.
Tommy Wiseau: Oh hi Lucas.
Lucas: Yeah.
Tommy goes into the kitchen and sees his roast is ruined.
Tommy: YOU ARE TEARING ME APART ROAST! Maybe I can go to Krusty Burger and get burgers.
Tommy tries to sneak out the window. Lucas sees him.
Singers: Ah- Tommy with his crazy explanations, Lucas is gonna need his medication When he hears Tommy's lame exaggerations, There'll be trouble in town tonight!
Lucas: TOMMY!
Tommy: Oh hi Lucas. I was just stretching my legs on the window sill.
Lucas: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Tommy?
Tommy: Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams.
Lucas leaves the room. Tommy climbs out the window and gets burgers and comes back with a tray of hamburgers.
Tommy: Whew. Lucas, I hope you're ready for yummy hot dogs.
Lucas: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Tommy: No I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
Lucas: I thought you said hot dogs?
Tommy: No they're steamed hams.
Lucas: ...so you call hamburgers steamed hams?
Tommy: Yeah It's a regional dialect.
Lucas: Uh-huh. Uh, what region?
Tommy: Tatooine.
Lucas: These hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Tommy: Oh, no. Patented Tommy burgers. Old family recipe.
Lucas: For steamed hams.
Tommy: Yes.
Lucas: And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Tommy: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second.
Lucas: Of course.
Tommy walks into the kitchen and walks back out.
Tommy: Well that was good anyway how's your se—
Lucas: Good Lord! What is happening in there?
Lucas points to the kitchen which is on fire.
Tommy: Aurora borealis.
Lucas: Aurora borealis. At this time of year. At this time of day. In this part of the country. Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Tommy: Oh yeah.
Lucas: May I see it?
Tommy: No.
Lucas and Tommy walk out.
James Franco: Tommy! The house is on fire!
Tommyr: No, James. It's just the northern lights.
Lucas: Well, Tommy, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham.
He walks off, and Tommy waves goodbye.
James Franco: Help! Help!
*Greg Sestero speeds to the house in a firetruck*
YOU ARE READING
What Happens When Fanboys and Death Note Mix 3: The Final Mix
Hayran KurguI can't tell you anything about this one! I had no idea what would happen when I started this final fanfic! I just can't tell you about it! I can't tell you about the time L runs around in a rainbow afro rapping "Baby Got Back", or how Light is cons...
