I'm Dating an Idol

Chapter 35

Karen's POV

It's my fault.

It's my freaking fault.

Napatingin ako kay Mikko na busy sa phone niya habang sinusubukan tawagan si Jerome. Habang ako... I can't do anything dahil blangko ang utak ko sa mga oras na 'to.

"Don't cry Karen, it's not your fault. Maybe, Jerome's reason is different from what you think." Ate Amethyst said while rubbing my back.

I ruined his dreams. I ruined their friendship. I ruined everything. This mess happened because of me!

"Mikko..." He stopped walking back and forth when I called out his name.

Lumuhod siya sa harap ko at hinawakan ang kamay ko. "Stop crying, my love. Let me fix this by myself, I will never let Jerome leave the group."

I nodded and closed my eyes for a second.

"Can I meet Jerome? Just for once?" I pleaded. Hindi ako patatahimikin ng konsensya ko kapag hindi ko siya nakausap.

"Please, Mikko?"

He deeply sighed. Alam kong nahihirapan din siya. Lahat ng tao sa paligid ko nahihirapan ng dahil sa akin. Damn, my whole existence is making everyone suffer.

Mikko kissed my forehead. "Okay. But please don't give up on me. I don't want to lose you for the second time, Karen. "

I leaned forward to kiss him on the lips.

"I love you so much." I said before leaving.

***

I was running down the stairs while trying to call Jerome. My legs hurt, my tears are falling on my cheeks, my heart is clenching, I deserve this pain. It's nothing compared to what I've done. It's nothing but a small scratch.

Jerome doesn't answer my calls so I texted him. Hoping and praying that he will read it... at least.

To Jerome:

Talk to me please? For the sake of my sanity? Please?

I parked my car in front of Jerome's house. Alam kong nandito siya. This is the only place that can calm him.

Paulit-ulit kong pinindot ang door bell, umaasang lalabasin niya ako at kakausapin.

I tried to call him but he didn't pick up his phone. Wala rin reply sa text ko kanina.

A group of girls passed by behind me. They are obviously talking about me. "Gosh, is that Karen?"

"Yes. Ano karapatan niya pumunta sa bahay ni Jerome after they broke up?"

"Such a flirt. Paano ba siya nagustuhan ni Jerome? At dahil sa kanya, aalis na tuloy si Jerome sa Empires."

I burst into tears upon hearing those cruel words. Hindi ko sila nilingon. Kaya kong tanggapin lahat ng sinasabi nila sa 'kin wag lang madamay si Mikko kung sakaling malaman nila ang katotohanan. Wala siyang ibang inisip kundi kapakanan ng Empires, he doesn't deserve to receive hates once the truth comes out to the public.

"Karen?" That voice made me languid.

[Play Letting Go By: Day6 while reading this.]

I slowly turned my back and there, I saw the person I hurt. I hugged him really tight until we almost run out of breath.

"I'm sorry, Jerome. That wasn't supposed to happen." I felt so comfortable when he hugged me back. I felt... his forgiveness.

"Why are you here?" He asked. Mukha wala pa siyang tulog, he also got thinner. It's very noticeable.

"Aalis ka sa Empires?" Straight to the point, I asked.

He nodded. Damn.

"I'm sorry." I uttered. He just smiled and wiped off my tears.

"Don't blame yourself for this. I don't want you to feel guilty because it's not your fault in the first place; I chose to leave."

Why is he still smiling so brightly despite of all these happenings?

"Why are you being like this? Bakit ang bait-bait mo pa rin sa 'kin? Could you please be angry with me?"

He hugged me once again and pressed my head on his shoulder. "I can't, I love you so much that I can't hate you."

"I almost fell for you for being too nice." I heard him giggled when I said this.

"But you don't like nice guys like me; you still chose Mikko, but it's fine. I'm slowly accepting the fact na we are not meant to be."

I chuckled, "And I hate the fact that we are not meant for each other. Nonetheless, nothing will change, you are still my soulmate."

He deeply sighed and gave me the sweetest smile ever. Nakakagaan ng loob.

"Maybe in our second life you will finally choose me."

It will really takes time for him to move on but that time will come. I hope it will come sooner.

"Paunahan nalang kayo ni Mikko makita ako sa second life and I hope na hindi na ganito ka-kumplikado ang lahat." I said, jokingly.

"If he dumps you again, don't hesitate to come and I will marry you right away, without asking."

"Jerome naman!" I frowned.

Ginulo niya ang buhok ko. "Kidding." He smiled in pain.

Hindi ako satisfied dahil pakiramdam ko tinatago lang ni Jerome ang tunay na nararamdaman niya at umaastang he can endure this problem without anyone's help. I can feel it. He is a very good at hiding emotions. He is a stoic person.

"It's okay to cry, Jerome." He was staring right into my eyes until it became sparkly.

Yumuko siya hanggang sa binuhos na niya lahat ng emotions na kanina niya pa tinatago. It's surprising how the strongest person I've known for years could breakdown like this...

He leaned his head on my shoulder. "This is so hard for me." He said. "Sobrang hirap, Karen. Mahal talaga kita. Bakit hindi ka ba para sa 'kin? Bakit?"

I patted his head. "Shhh...everything will be alright."

---

Wala na akong magawa. It's official, he's leaving Empires for everyone sake. Hindi siya umamin pero alam kong isa rin ako sa dahilan kung bakit siya aalis. He said that he will just focus on his study first. Baka daw hindi para sa kanya ang idol life. Masaya siya tuwing nag-peperform siya kasama ang Empires, but he have his own priorities in life. Hindi lahat sang-ayon sa pag-alis niya, pero susuportahan ko siya kahit saan siya pumunta. Not as his girlfriend anymore, but as his bestfriend and soulmate.

He doesn't hate Mikko. Kailangan lang niya makapagisip-isip at mag-move on. I respect Jerome's descision and I hope his fans will do the same.

Morning rolled in fast. I woke up with my phone full of missed calls and hates on my social medias. I'm expecting this to happen since yesterday, but this is much worse than I thought.

From +63*********:

It's all your fault!

From +63*********:

mamatay ka nalang sana!!!! dahil sayo kaya umalis si jerome sa empires!!!!!!

From +63*********:

can't u just die?

I receiver tons of death threats and hates from unregistered numbers. Saying that it's my fault, I'm a flirt, a gold digger, and more hurtful words like that. So this is what I am getting for breakfast. Great.