I Never Told You I Love You - Complete

Chapter 1 - Shouldn't Be Here

He heard the end of his career with a small click and whir as the tumblers turned in the lock. He shouldn't be here. He knew it. She knew it too. But every night this week, and the week before, as soon as he ended his shift, Dimitri would find himself here – slipping into Rose's dorm room.

The first night had been accidental, in a way. He'd been patrolling on his shift, somehow ending up walking past her door just before he clocked off. He'd told himself he wanted to be reassured she was alright before he retired for the evening. But when he'd heard terrified whimpering from behind her door, he'd stopped. Before he'd had a chance to knock, the noises had ceased, only to be replaced by the sound of someone moving around and crying. And his heart all but broke. She was in there. Rose. His Roza. And she was hurting.

Knowing the whole time he shouldn't, that it was wrong, he'd knocked softly on her door. She'd opened it an inch, almost fearfully. Seeing him, she'd opened the door just enough to let him through. Her room was mostly dark, thanks to the blackout curtains, yet still light enough for him to see her tousled dark hair, her wide, dark eyes filled with tears and her swollen lips.

"Another nightmare?" he'd whispered. She nodded. She had them every night, several times a night now.

When she'd first returned from Spokane, they'd given her medication to sleep – but it hadn't helped. Well, rather it had helped too well. She'd sleep but would end up unable to wake, instead finding herself trapped in the same nightmare for hours. After three nights of not being able to escape the movie reel playing over and over in her head, she'd flushed the rest of the tablets, opting to instead throw herself into her training in an attempt to wear herself out. And she'd been successful, to an extent. She was so tired all the time that she could fall asleep in an instant. Yet still, the nightmares came. Spokane. The Strigoi. Mason. At least once a night, usually two or three times. But being able to wake from them was some sort of blessing.

That night she'd wordlessly stepped into Dimitri's outstretched arms. She was hurting, and every fiber of his being was telling him to comfort her. To protect her in any way he could. They'd stood there for ten minutes, her breathing slowly calming, her heart rate slowing back to normal. She didn't cry when he held her, he noticed. It pleased him – she'd spent far too many hours crying recently.

"Dimitri?" she'd asked hesitantly. "It's always so much better when you're near. Can you stay while I fall back to sleep? I have an exam tomorrow, and I'm going to fail it if I can't get some sleep tonight." And loving her the way he did, he couldn't refuse her; which is how he'd found himself curled up on her single bed, arms encircling her.

She'd slept. Her first peaceful sleep in almost a month. And strangely he had, too. Waking hours later to find her head resting on his chest had been glorious. He'd studied her beautiful face as it was restful in repose. Perhaps he was fooling himself, but the dark rings under her eyes looked a little less prominent today, and she certainly looked more rested than she had in weeks. Telling himself it was a one-off, and no harm was done, he'd carefully climbed out of her bed, leaving her to slumber while he snuck back to his room for a shower and a coffee. They were due to train in half an hour, and while she might not be on time, he should be.

And that's how it had started. The next night he'd patrolled at the end of his shift and again heard her crying. Knowing he could ease her pain he couldn't deny her the comfort of a good night's sleep. So he'd knocked, and for a second night, he gave her his protection. And then a third. By the end of the week, they had a new schedule. She would stay up doing homework waiting for him to finish his shift. He'd always end it at her doorway, letting himself in with the key she'd given him. He'd radio into headquarters that he was coming off shift, he'd strip down to his boxers and put on the sleep TShirt she now kept in her room for him, and then the two of them would climb into bed.