I Never Told You I Love You - Complete

Chapter 3 - A Tenuous Connection

When he'd stood at the gates of the Academy, Dimitri had no idea which way to walk. In the end, he went west; for the sole reason that it was past midday and he wanted to walk with the sun on his face. A simple act, but after many years spent living the bulk of his time in darkness, the light on his skin was welcome.

He hadn't expected to be picked up so quickly hitchhiking, but he'd been lucky. Once he'd made it to the highway, a passing trucker had stopped. Climbing into the cab the guy had asked where he was going.

"Anywhere but here" Dimitri had answered.

It turns out the trucker had been heading with a load into Idaho, and that suited Dimitri fine.

They'd chatted for hours. The guy was a decent sort. Not nosy or pushy. Just a guy doing a long boring job wanting a bit of company. As they drove the miles away, Dimitri wondered where to from here. He knew he didn't want to go home to Russia. It felt too far away from Roza. Besides he couldn't face his family knowing he'd be bringing shame upon their home. Alberta had been right. No matter what his reasons, what he'd done was inexcusable. While he'd not touched Rose sexually, it wasn't for lack of wanting to. Not these last few weeks – she'd been far too fragile since Spokane for him to think of her in that way. But before then he had. And he should never have been lusting after his seventeen-year-old student - even though the feelings had been reciprocated.

In the end, he decided to head to the place where it had all started for them. Portland. He'd watched Rose and Lissa for a week before he'd come for them, so their neighborhood was familiar. And all the places he knew there were places known to her. Somehow it just seemed the right place to go; a tenuous connection to his Roza.

It was 10 pm now. She would have been up for five hours, give or take. Dimitri knew she would be upset - shattered if his own feelings were anything to go by. But he hoped understanding why he'd left – knowing that once he'd been caught he had no choice – would help ease the blow. And knowing that he loved her. He was so relieved he'd sent Rose word about how much he cared. More than anything he wanted her to know that she was treasured and loved. That his leaving had nothing to do with not wanting or caring for her.

Saying farewell to his ride at a truckers' interchange in Idaho, Dimitri wandered into the diner. He was starving, having left Rose's bed hours before and not eating since. He ordered a meal then sat alone in a booth. Closing his eyes, he was remembering the feel of her sleeping form lying against him. The curve of her body and her soft breath against his chest. The feel of her hair against his lips as he'd given her his final kiss. And it was all he could do not to cry like a baby in the middle of a truck stop surrounded by ten or fifteen truckers.

Looking for a distraction, he pulled out his phone. He didn't think it fair to worry Mama and the girls when his boxes just arrived, so he sent a quick text.

Mama. I've left St. Vladimir's and am heading out into the human world for a little while. Am having my things shipped home. Don't worry – I'm ok. Just taking a little time out. Love Dimka

He knew she'd worry regardless, but hopefully, by heading out into the human world, he'd prevent any horrible rumors reaching her. Better to be thought of as just one more Dhampir pissed off with the system heading off to try their luck in the human world than be considered little better than a pedophile if it became known he'd been lusting after a Novice in his care. Checking the message was sent, he turned off his phone. Anyone who might be calling from here on in he either didn't want or wasn't allowed, to speak to.

The serves at the truck stop were large. Dimitri ate his meal without even tasting it. His only thought, now, centered on getting to Portland. He wanted to stand beneath the window where she'd first seen him watching her.