Hey, Mr. Grumpy! [DaraGon/NyongDal]

46.

46.

"Andyan pa ba?" I whispered to Minji na nakaupo sa sofa sa tapat ko. Kasalukuyan akong nagtatago sa likuran ng table sa living room ng dorm namin dahil dumating bigla si Jiyong. I think he's hoping to talk to me. Sa totoo lang, hindi pa kami nakakapag-usap ng dalawa lang kami simula nang sundan-sundan niya ako. I just... can't. Not now, I guess.

Tumingin saglit si Minji sa pintuan kung saan hinaharangan nina Chaerin at Bom si Jiyong para hindi siya makapasok. He had been demanding entrance for a while now. Good thing Bom was quick to block him so I was able to hide. Kung hindi, siguradong mamimilit na naman 'yun na kausapin ko siya.

"Wala na unnie, pwede ka ng lumabas." Sagot niya sa akin. I sighed deeply as I went out of my place under the table, my back facing the door. I was too busy with stretching my sore limbs that I didn't notice the sorry look on Minji's face.

"UNNIE ANDWAE-" Sigaw bigla ni Chaerin nang may isang boses na lumunod sa tinig niya. "DARA!"

My eyes widened at Minji who was only smiling sheepishly at me. "Mianhae, unnie. But I'm an Appler!" Sabi niya sa akin atsaka nag-V sign.

Unti-unti kong nilingon ang nasa likod ko habang nakaluhod pa rin ako. Bom's and Chaerin's faces were shooting daggers at our maknae, while Jiyong was looking gleeful behind them. Lihim akong napabuntong-hininga atsaka ko pinilit na ngumiti. "Andyan ka pala."

His face became a combination of serious, sullen, and nostalgic. He smiled back at me, although I could tell it wasn't that sincere either. "Can we talk?" Mahina niyang tanong.

Akmang itutulak na siya palabas ni Bom nang tumayo ako at tuluyan ng humarap sa kanila. "Sure." I said in a nonchalant tone even though my heart was thumping. Nginitian ko na lang sina Bom at Chaerin na mukhang hindi makapaniwala sa sinabi ko. "Tara na." Dagdag ko atsaka naglakad papunta sa pintuan.

Lalabas na sana ako nang hawakan ni Chaerin ang damit ko. "Unnie, you don't have to do this..."

Bumuntong-hininga na lang ako. "But I need to, Chae. Don't worry, I'll be back." I smiled at them. "Don't kill Minkki!" Pagpapaalam ko atsaka ko sinundan si Jiyong.

Tahimik lang kaming dalawa habang sinusundan ko siya. His hands were both pocketed inside his pants. He didn't even glance at me once. Inwardly, I felt thankful that I didn't have to talk to him. Hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong sabihin sa kanya. I sighed as I thought of how drastic the changes had been between us. Noon, hindi ko kailanman pinroblema kung ano ang sasabihin ko sa kanya. We were always so comfortable with each other. We can tell each other anything.

But maybe that had ended the moment he dated another girl behind my back.

He brought us to the rooftop. Wala pa ring nagsasalita sa aming dalawa. The awkwardness was growing as the time passes. He was just looking at the Seoul façade, his arms leaning on the railings while I stand awkwardly beside him, not knowing what to do.

"I want to ask what happened to us," he suddenly said, followed by a bitter laugh. He was still not looking at me. "But then I realized I was the one who messed up."

My heart was breaking for him. Pero hindi ko rin alam kung anong isasagot ko. Truthfully, buong panahon na iniiwasan ko siya...

Si Minho ang kasama ko.

Minho makes me forget about Jiyong. He makes me forget that I was hurt, and I am still hurting. Whenever I'm with Minho, he fills up my heart and mind that I often forget all the bad things going in my life. And yes, yes, I do feel guilty. I feel like I'm cheating with Jiyong, whenever I think about it at night, but when I'm with Minho... Everything just fades away.

"Jiyong-"

"You don't even call me grandpa anymore." He bitterly added. "No grandpa, no babe, just... Jiyong. Just Jiyong."

I want to take away his pain, but then I remembered I couldn't. Not anymore.

Silent tears streamed down my face as I stared at him. He was avoiding my gaze, and I'm sort of thankful. I'm actually afraid that I'd drown in his deep, brown orbs once again. Dahan-dahan kong ipinatong ang kamay ko sa balikat niya. When he felt that, he turned to look at me, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "Grandma..." He fell to his knees, clasping my hand between his. "Please... Please, take me back..."

I bit my lips hard to stop my sobs. It's so heartbreaking seeing him, the almighty Kwon Jiyong, on his knees. Begging me to take him back. I want to. I swear to God that I really want to. But I can't. I... can't. Not now. Not when I'm not even sure if he's the one I love more.

Not when I'm not sure if he's the one who makes me happy.

He let go of my hand and locked my waist in his arms. He was holding on to me tightly, wanting to relay his feelings through his actions. He was crying now. His shoulders were bobbing up and down, trying to contain the noise of his tears. I couldn't stop myself from crying. I am seeing a glimpse of my old Jiyong... my Jay Gatsby...

TOP told me before that Jiyong did what he did because he was getting tired, unsure if he still wanted our relationship. I got mad at him because not once did I ever think of that. But now? Pakiramdam ko ay naiintindihan ko na siya. Naiintindihan ko na kung ano 'yung naramdaman niya noon.

Dahil nararamdaman ko na rin iyon ngayon.

At natatakot ako. Natatakot ako dahil hindi ko alam kung sinong pipiliin ko. Mahal ko si Jiyong, pero natatakot ako dahil unti-unti na ring nagkakaroon ng lugar si Minho sa puso ko. He was there when Jiyong wasn't.

Hearts and emotions were the most vulnerable after a heartbreak. They break easily, and they fall easily. I think that's what's happening to me. Minho was helping me bring my pieces back together, and he's in love with me. He's doing this because he's in love with me. Dahil doon, hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko na mag-isip ng future kasama siya.

Hindi ko na nabilang kung gaano katagal kami ni Jiyong sa ganoong posisyon. After a long while, he started standing up slowly, his arms never leaving my waist. He stared at me, and I could see his desperation and pain in his eyes. I would know, I've been there before. Maybe I still am.

"I love you, babe," he whispered before descending down, his lips meeting mine. The fireworks were still there, ignited after a long while of sleep. The sparks tickle my nerve endings, making me alive and vibrant.

The kiss was brief, but the effects were not. Jiyong had long gone but I was still frozen there on the rooftop, my fingers hovering above my lips. I could still taste Jiyong in there.

Tulala ako pagbalik ko sa dorm. Minji, Chaerin, and Bom were waiting for me in the living room. They were all seated on the sofa. I thought I saw Minji's forehead was red, but I was too drained to pay attention.

Nang nakaupo ako sa couch ay agad akong tinanong ni Bom. "Anong nangyari, Dee?" She asked gently. Worry was in her eyes.

I sighed deeply. "Naguguluhan ako."

Nagkatinginan silang tatlo. Umubo si Chaerin bago siya nakapagsalita. "Do you... do you still love GD oppa?" She questioned, her usually confident voice uncertain for once.

"Yes," I answered without hesitation.

"Do you love Minho oppa then?" Biglang tanong ni Minji.

Iniwas ko ang tingin ko sa kanila, pero alam kong hindi nakawala sa mga mata nila ang kawalan ng katiyakan sa mga mata ko.