I'm Gonna Love You Through It

Part 40

I’m gonna love you through it

Part 40

*Justin’s POV*

It was crazy holding my son in my arms. I knew that Bent wasn’t really my blood but I was going to treat him like I created him. Selena and I also agreed to never tell Bentley about Sel being raped. Personally, I agreed with her decision. If we did tell him, he would only want to find his father and that would be so hard on Selena.

I was glad to look out the window of the private plane I had got a while back, and see the buildings of L.A. I was even more excited by the thought of sleeping in my own bed, not that uncomfortable tour bus bed. I was excited also to see my mom again. She was thrilled by the idea of helping raise Bentley. I was really glad that everyone so happy that Sel and I had a child.

Once we landed, I handed Bentley over to Selena and helped her off the plane. When we got inside the airport, it was a nightmare. There were paps everywhere. Flashes went off in every direction. Luckily, Selena had thought of bringing a blanket to put over Bentley’s baby carrier so he wouldn’t freak out.

I would have told Sel just to go to the car, that I would meet here there, but she didn’t really know how to handle the press. So, I grabbed all of our bags, and pushed our way to the van that Kenny had waiting for us.

“What do you think they will say about Bentley,” Selena asked looking at Bentley, who was in between us in the car.

“Well, they didn’t get a picture of him, so that’s good. They won’t have much to say.”

“What about your fans?” This time she was looking up at me.

“If they are true fans, they will love you and Bentley just as much as I do. No matter what anyone thinks, or says, or does, I’ll be right by your side.”

She smiled as she leaned over to kiss me gently.

-

After hours of unpacking, Sel and I laid side by side on our bed.

“I missed my bed,’ I chuckled snuggling into the covers.

She giggled and scooted closer to me. I wrapped my arms around her holding her close to my body.

“When are you gonna start treatment again?” I asked her, wondering what her game plan for that was.

She sighed, “Can we talk about something other than my cancer?”

“Sel, I want you forever. We have to get this cancer out right away.”

“Well, I don’t really have the money right now to do another surgery or even another session of treatments, Justin.”

“Selena, you know I will pay from them. Money is not an issue.” I had no idea why she was all of a sudden acting like we were broke.

“No, I’m going to pay on my own,” she said with a bit of anger in her voice.

“Selena Marie, soon we are going to be married and I am going to pay for everything. Plus, you’ve never had a problem with me paying before now, so what gives?”

“It doesn’t even matter okay.” Suddenly, Bentley started crying from his new baby room, giving Selena another excuse not to talk to me about this whole money issue.

*Selena’s POV*

I sighed in relief when Bentley started wailing from his room, giving me the chance to run. I quickly slid out of Justin’s arms, not even bothering to look back as I walked out of the room.

Why couldn’t Justin respect the fact that I wanted to pay for MY treatments? I was so tired of everyone thinking I was only using Justin to pay my medical bills that I was already behind on. I wanted to pay for it on my own because I wanted to show everyone that I was independent and that I was with Justin because I loved him.

I cradled a crying Bentley, carefully taking in his tiny features. I was so glad he looked everything like me and nothing like the horrible rapist. He was still really small but tomorrow he would be one month old, even though in my stomach I would still only be 7 months along.

I took one quick glance, making sure no one was looking when I decided I would sing to him to help him calm down. I never sang in front of anyone, not my mother or any friends, not even Justin had heard me sing.

“Your little hand’s wrapped around my finger

 And it’s so quiet in the world tonight

 Your little eyelids flutter cause you’re dreaming

 So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light,” I sang to him in a quiet whisper as he closed his eyes to go back to sleep. I smiled and gently placed him in his bed. I hummed the song as I turned around to see Justin standing in the doorway. I gasped freighted by him, but I was thankful I didn’t scream and wake up Bent.

“Justin don’t do that!” I whisper yelled at him, as I closed the door to Bentley’s room.

“That was really pretty, Sel. How come you’ve never sang in front of me?” he asked following me back into our bedroom.

“I don’t know,” I said trying to dodge his question as best I could.

“You should record with me sometime,” he said looking up at the ceiling from our bed.

I let out a loud laugh, “That’s really funny, Jay. Nice joke.”

“No, Selena. I’m serious. I think you’d be a really good performer. You were so natural on tour with me. Maybe when we finish off the last few shows of this tour, you could be like an opening act or something.”

Was he crazy? I never sang in front of him. How in the world would I be able to sing in front of 20,000 people?

“I don’t think so.”

“Just take some time to think about it. Then get back to me,” he said leaning over to kiss me before turning off the lights.