Why Don't We? // Jack Avery fanfiction

Sleepless Nights

There hasn't been a night that I can remember where I haven't stayed up until at least 2am. I can try to force myself to sleep, but it never comes. I just can't stop thinking. Right when I feel like I might finally fall asleep, and my eyes start fluttering shut, the thoughts start to rush in. The type of thought that I wish I could force out of my brain.

I pick up my phone from my bedside table and look at my Instagram feed, just to see that my most recent picture has gotten 32 likes. I wonder how my friends somehow manage to get 100s of likes, when I struggle to reach 50. I observe the picture of me, and see myself holding up a peace sign next to two dogs. I sigh, and shut my phone off. "I'm just not pretty enough" I think to myself. When I was younger, I never would have had thoughts like this; I never cared about my looks, or the likes I get on my Instagram, but after my 17th birthday last month, things really started to change.. and it was not good.

I've never been popular. I've always been that girl who sits quietly in the back of the classroom doing her work, and leaving the second school ends. I never really cared about having a lot of friends. I have always had a small group of extremely close friends, and for the longest time, that was all I needed. Until recently, when I decided I needed a change in my life. I had no idea it would be this hard to make such a small change though. It feels like there are no new people left to meet in California.. and the people that do know me? Either they think I'm a loser, or just aren't interested in my life at all.

Its been almost an hour, and I'm still awake. My room is pitch black, yet I stare at the cieling anyways. I can't see it through the darkness. I can't see anything. Another hour passes and my stomach physically hurts from the lack of sleep. Eventually, my eyes begin to flutter shut; engulfing me in a deep, And troubled sleep. It's 4am. The time I normally fall asleep at. This is my every night.