Lights, Cameras, Outsiders!

Chapter 17

LCO 17

I lowered the TV when Matt walked in.

"Hey, Essie, how you doin'?" he said, coming to hug and kiss me before having a seat in the hospital chair.

"I'm fine. Matt, what are you doing in a tank top? It's freezing this time of year," I said.

"Tai Chi today. I'll tell you something. I'm not a big fan of it," he said, looking at the TV.

"What are you watching?"

"Nothing."

"Whatcha watching?" he asked again.

"Just a little movie I stumbled upon."

"What movie?" He asked. The screen flashed on, continuing the movie from the commercials, and the first thing that appeared was Matt's 14 year old self in a green tank top and the longest hair I've ever seen any boy pull off.

"ESSIE!" HE snapped, jumping up and turning the tv off.

"You're watching this?" he said.

"Turn it back on, I was watching that!" I said.

"It's a travesty! Don't watch this shit!"

"It's a good movie, Matt! Why are you so upset I'm watching Over The Edge?"

"Because my acting in this is half-ass. Now please, please don't watch. It's like I'm embarrassing myself," he said, coming to sit back down.

"Fine. But I will see it again one day," I said.

"No!" he said, leaning forward.

"I happen to think you were very cute," I said.

"Come on, Essie, I had the voice of Tweety Bird," he said.

"Come on, Matt. Will you stop? It's either I meet your parents and look at baby pictures or watch one of your first acting jobs," I said.

"I'd rather you look at my baby pictures than that movie. That was before I hit puberty and my acting was-"

"Will you quit? It's a movie, and you were adorable," I said, kissing him.

"What are y'all doing tomorrow on the set?"

"Probably more tai chi and rehearsal," he said.

"Listen to this! Francis wants me to spend the night in jail!" he said.

"What'd you say?"

"No, Francis, you go spend the night in jail," he said.

"You're dumb, you know that."

"Yes."

"How's the rest of the crew?"

"Fine. Emilio and Patrick say they love you and Tommy misses you."

"Tommy loves me," I smiled.

"No, I love you."

"No, Tommy," I said. He took his hand and started to tickle me. I squealed and screeched until my legs were out from under the covers and Matt grabbed my waist. He pulled me from the middle of the bed to the edge and swung my legs.

"When you get out of here, I'm going to take you on a nice date and no one will interrupt us and it'll be just like it was before I auditioned for this movie."

"Okay," I smiled. He kissed me and then looked down, biting his lip.

"Did you ever think...we could've been parents?"

"No."

"You never thought about it?"

"I kind of had to. I didn't like the idea."

"You never thought we could've made it?"

"If we had to, you probably would've had to given up your acting and get a stable job. I don't think... we could've done it in a million years."

"Because we're young?"

"Because we are the way we are. I mean Matt, we're eighteen. You've still got a couple months of school left. You just can't give up and have a kid. I'm kind of thankful this happened," I said.

"But you're saying it's because we're young?"

"That and we fight a lot. That wouldn't be healthy. It's not healthy for us now...Why are you bringing all this up? You want to try and have a kid?"

"No, not now. But when we're married and happy, maybe."

"Matt, please, by the time you're done with this movie, girls will be all over you in New York, and you'll forget who I am."

"No, I won't because you're gonna come live with me in New York and we're gonna have a life together."

"Stop..."

"What?"

"You're saying stuff is gonna happen, and it's not."

"It is!"

"No, it's not, Matt."

"Because I got a career at eighteen, you think I'm not going to have a relationship with you. Look, they're rehearsing extra and I'm here with you. I can balance it."

"Because I know how you are. You get bored easily. You get bored with books, with movies, with places, with girls."

"Come on, it's been almost a year and we've been together nine of those twelve months..."

"Look, just drop it."

"No, I wanna talk to you," he said, moving my turned cheek with his finger.

"You really think after this movie I'll stop loving you?"

"Yes."

"Come here," he pulled me in and held me for a while.

"That's never going to happen. And if it does, murder me."