Lights, Cameras, Outsiders!

Chapter 87

LCO 87

"You really should go see him, Essie. He's been annoying the crap outta us all day," Cruise said, taking a seat at the lunch table. Ralph nodded, still chewing food in his mouth.

"Really, Essie, he's been hysterical. He's on morphine, he's in so much pain, and all that comes out of his mouth is 'Where's Essie?' It's annoying," he said. I sighed and leaned back in my chair.

"I told him I wasn't going to talk to him until he was discharged," I said.

"I saw something like that the patients mental health really weighs on in on the physical health. So technically, if you went to see him, he could recover faster," Cruise said.

"Wait, smile," I said before he flashed a toothy grin.

"You got your cap back on!" I exclaimed. He laughed.

"Yep. My work here is done."

"I swear, Cruise, you got some of the nicest teeth," I laughed.

"They're not straight though."

"They look pretty straight."

"Naw. I got a tooth in the middle of my mouth."

"No!"

"Yes, see," he smiled and pointed to the middle of his mouth.

"Wow. I won't look at you the same," I said.

"Seriously, Essie, if you're saying you're not going to talk to him before he gets discharged, then you're looking at weeks, not days," Ralph said.

"I'm not used to seeing your teeth like this," I said to Cruise.

"I know. I got used to not have my cap on and all-"

"Hey, you two, dental hygiene experts, shut up. I'm trying to make a point," Ralph snapped his fingers.

"Okay, what?" I said.

"Matt's not doing well, Essie. If I was just stabbed, I think I'd want my fiancée there too," Ralph said.

"Yeah, Essie, it's been three days. You can't be mad at him forever," Cruise said.

"I'm not mad."

"From the looks of it, when you said you didn't want to talk to him before he was discharge because you thought he'd still be like that. And now he's not. And you're not seeing him," Ralph said.

"I'll see him. We're eating in the hospital cafeteria, aren't we?" I said.

"But I'm starting to think you don't want to see him," Ralph said.

"Why would you think that?" I said.

"Because you saw these things happen to your friends in Miami, and now that's happened to someone you adore, you don't want to see them in so much pain and in the condition," Ralph said. I sighed.

"I don't know...if I'm doing that, it's subconsciously. I'm not aware."

"Well, maybe you should go see him. Now," Cruise said.

"Will one of you come with me?" I said.

"No. Just go see your fiancée," Ralph said.

"Fine."

***********

I knocked on the door three times lightly. The TV wasn't on, and no one was talking. I pushed the door in to see Matt sleeping on his back, those tubes still up his nose. I closed the door behind me and quietly pulled a chair up to his bedside. The heart monitor beeped at a steady pace and was the only sound heard in the room. I gently held one of his hands and ran my thumb along the back. He had one of those white hospital bracelets attached to his wrist as if it was some sort of inventory tracking device. After a little while, his eyes fluttered open and he turned to me.

"Essie?" He said quietly.

"Yeah, it's me," I said. His lip started to quiver, but he smiled.

"You're here," he said.

"Yeah, I'm here." He looked down and realized I had his hand and squeezed.

"Honey, all those things I said, I didn't mean them. I was just being an asshole, and I was tired and I was anxious and in shock and-"

"Shhhh. You're shaking..." I said. I moved the hair out of his forehead by stroking it upward.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby..." He said. His voice started to break, and his eyes were watering.

"Matt, why are you crying? Oh my gosh, what's wrong? Are you okay?" I laid my hand on his forehead.

"I'm fine," he said, squeezing my hand again.

"You're hysterical," I said as a tear ran down his cheek.

"No, I'm just in a lot of pain," he said. Geez. If he was in that much pain to make him cry, it must've been one deep cut.

"Okay, honey, you need to calm down... The doctors are giving you morphine," I said.

"They said they can't exceed the dosage I'm being given right now," he said.

"Well, they're probably right... They're trying to help you. God, Matt, why are you crying? You're seriously scaring me," I said, wiping his cheek again.

"I don't know."

"How much sleep have you gotten since you've been in here?"

"I don't know..."

"Do you wake up in the middle of the night?"

"I don't sleep at night. I nap."

"Oh, Jesus, Matt, you can't do that, honey. You can't. That's unhealthy. You need lots of rest. Lots and lots of sleep."

"Really?"

"Yes. Here, I'll leave you to take a very long nap, and when you wake up, I'll be right here."

"Right here?"

"Right here. Okay?"

"Okay." I released his hand and sat back.

"I love you," I said. He attempted to smile but winced instead.

"I love you more," he said. I smiled and leaned down to give a small, but slow kiss. The ones that mean the most and are the hardest to pull away from.

"Get some rest."