Lights, Cameras, Outsiders!

Chapter 50

LCO 50

I got a phone call from Aunt Susie later on that night.

"Hello?" I had answered.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I knew it was her.

"What?"

"You and Cruise. You cheated on Matt."

"I know, Aunt Susie."

"What the hell is wrong with you?! He's fucking heartbroken!" My aunt never said the f word and I was scared.

"Aunt Susie-"

"No, let me talk. Apparently, you called him up from LA and told him you cheated on him outright which we both appreciate your honesty. We will give you that. But he comes over to the HOUSE in Bixby in his car and he comes in and he's upset and he tells me what you fucking told him and he was out of his mind. He's enraged, he's pissed. And he starts telling me how much he loves you and that he doesn't want to get too worked up about this because he did the exact same thing to you and he said he was willing to forget it and you know what, Essie? He starts to cry. CRY. In front of my eyes, he's crying and bawling in my living room and he will not calm down. You broke him, Essie. BROKE. Him." I sat with tears streaming down my face. I had no words.

"You know Essie, I really didn't call to bust your chops but I want you here tomorrow morning and me, you, and Matt are going to sit down and talk about this....I'm just in complete shock that this would happen."

"I'm sorry, Susie."

"Good night, Essie."

*******

I told Cruise that I told Matt and he was extremely upset but I had a plane to catch. So I caught the plane, not saying a word to anyone, and Aunt Susie picked me up at the airport without a word, not even a hello. Instead of driving to the hotel, we drove down to Aunt Susie's house. When I got inside, David wasn't in sight and Matt was sitting on the couch, looking at his hands.

"We're here," Susie said. Matt looked up but didn't stand up or smile.

Susie took a seat at the love seat across from the couch as I stood in the middle of the living room.

"Why don't you take a seat next to Matt?" She said. I did but I made sure I wasn't too close. He looked up at me and laid back in the couch.

"Where do we want to start?" Susie said.

"I just got a couple questions for you," Matt said without looking at me.

"Hmm?"

"Do you love him?" I sighed and shook my head.

"No," I said. I already felt the lumps in my throat and I was becoming overwhelmed.

"Then why did you do it?"

"I don't... I don't know, Matt."

"Okay, well, I'm trying to get to the root of the issue here, Essie. What's missing here, something in our sex life?"

"Maybe."

"Why? Cause we don't do it anymore because of your heart?"

"I think so."

"No Essie, we have to know," Matt snapped.

"Look, I don't know why you did it and it doesn't seem that you know either but you've got to break off communications with Cruise at least for a while," Aunt Susie said.

"Yeah, I'm not really loving him at the moment," Matt said. It was quiet.

"But you know what's really horrible here is that I told you I didnt want you going with him and you go with him and you fuck him within hours of not being in my sight!" Matt sneered.

"I know! And I didn't necessarily want to do it!"

"Did he pressure you to do it?"

"Not exactly, no."

"Okay, what do you mean not exactly?"

"I mean we kissed and he said don't tell Matt and then he started to undress me and I said something about you and he said don't tell him."

"I swear Essie, the only slack I'm cutting you is because of your honesty."

"Matt, look, I feel absolutely horrible about this. I don't know what you want to do but here's the story," and I told him from the conversation before room service till getting here.

"So I don't know what you want to do here but I just... Look, I don't deserve you, I don't deserve the slack being cut cause of my honesty. I really don't know how I'm going to deal with myself and how this affects you-"

"You HURT me." I began to cry.

"I am utterly heartbroken, Essie. Do you even know how much I love you?"

"No... I don't know what came over me... There are no excuses and I am a horrible person and this deserves a terrible punishment." Susie handed me a box of tissues.

"I'm giving you a break because you're honest and I did the same thing to you, and I remember not even owning up to it and telling you straight up."

"But I just-"

"Let me finish. I know how hard it can be to tell someone but... You're right Essie, it doesn't really matter a whole lot because there are no excuses... So I decided I need some space. I just need some time to myself for a while. I'm sorry, but I think after this...we need some time away from each other."

"Are we splitting up?"

"No, we're not over. I just need my time and space right now. I'm

Sorry, but...that's just what I need," he said. I nodded and wiped my cheeks.

"I don't love you any less, but I'm just disappointed.... And I'm gonna try to deal with it, but I still love you," he stood up and bent down. He put his palm on the back of my head and pulled my forehead to his hips and kissed the top of my hair for a good while with closed eyes. He moved some hair out of face and started to go to the door.

"Thanks, Susie. I'll talk to you later," he said before walking out the door.

"I swear to God, if he doesn't dump your ass, you better be so good to him, it's disgusting."