Lights, Cameras, Outsiders!

Chapter 34

LCO 34

Matt came in later that night with a pizza, two cokes and a smile. He set the pizza down on the bed and kissed me on the cheek.

"Hey! How was the shoot today?" I said.

"Good, good. I'll tell you something, this town is small and I crossed every square inch," he said, taking his jacket of and laid it over the chair.

"Yeah, it's a small town," I said.

"And something else, man, that chick Diane, she's a piece of work. She said she didn't want me in a five foot radius of her. I'm glad it's a short shoot with her so I don't have to see her again," he said, walking over to the bed.

"How was your day?" He asked.

"I did nothing," I said as he sat down.

"Nothing?"

"Not a thing."

"Good because it's fuckin cold outside," he said. I leaned forward and put my hands on the back of his neck.

"Is it?"

"Freezing," he said. I kissed him. And again. And again. And again until he scooted closer and wrapped his arms around my back. I started to kiss his jawline and moved down his neck. He wrapped me in a hug and fell back. He kissed me on the mouth again and smiled. I grabbed the waist of his pants and unbuttoned and unzipped them. He backed up.

"No, Essie," he said.

"Why?" He bit the bottom of his lip.

"We can't," he said.

"Why, Matt?" I repeated.

"Because you can't do activities that make your heart rate go up," he said.

"This isn't going to-"

"Essie, trust me, I'm not saying this to be an asshole or a tease but I mean... I'm doing this for your protection," he said.

"By staying away from sex?"

"Yes, it makes your heart rate go up. I'm not going through that again," he said.

"What do you mean you? I went through it," I said.

"Come on, let's not fight," he said.

"No, Matt, if you think you went through a lot, think about me here. I went through it, I had surgery, I had to be shocked to normal life, I have to supervised at all times, I have to go live with you in New York-"

"I thought you wanted to come with me in New York!" He said.

"I do, but I want to Live you if you think we have an actual life, not because you think you have a duty to take care of me," I said.

"I was gonna ask you later in the shoot, sweetheart. It was just essential now."

"But do you really want to live with me because you really want to live with me and have a life together or because I'm chronically sick?"

"Because I love you, babe, we went over this. Come on, I want to live with you because I love you, okay? I'm not having sex with you because it's for protection," he said. I didn't say anything. He turned and took a slice of pizza from the box.

"Open up," I opened wide. He smiled and started put the pizza in my mouth. I laughed and smiled and held the pizza. I finished chewing before he kissed me again and handed me another coke.

**********

"Okay, you know, I'm pretty fuckin sick of this," I was telling Tommy. He Flicked his cigarette butt on the ground.

"Of what?" He said.

"Being treated like I'm freakin five years old. Like I have to be supervised every minute of the day," I said.

"Come on, you've got to have some sort of privacy," he said.

"Nah. Only privacy is the shower," I said. He kicked a trash can and looked inside a bar.

"Can I ask you kind of a personal question?" He asked.

"Does it have to do with my recent cardiac arrest?" I said.

"No."

"Then shoot."

"It's about sex," he said. I had to stifle a laugh.

"What is it, Tommy?"

"It's like about your first time," he said.

"Ok?"

"Who was your first?" He asked.

"That's seriously your question?"

"Well, it's a leading question," he said.

"Well, my first was Matt."

"And...how did he... Like..."

"And how did he what?"

"Do. Was he really confident or-"

"Nah. He was real confident. I don't think it was his first time. Is your question how he handled me?"

"No. My question is like how did he do it the first time?"

"The way he does it all the time."

"I mean-"

"I'm not really getting this."

"I don't know how to handle anyone during it!" He said. I smiled.

"Tommy, you're fifteen, you don't need to worry about it."

"I know but I'm never around older people like you all and I want to know," he said.

"Okay, look, I'm not the one who would know those kinds of these. Ask Matt or Cruise or Emilio or Ralph or Patrick," I said.

"I feel awkward asking Matt. He's just kind of untouchable."

"Then I'll ask him, okay?" I said. He stopped looking down and just kind of stared at me.

"Or can you just ask him to talk to me?" He said.

"Sure," I said. I kissed his cheek and he smiled and came closer. He kissed me on the lips and backed up.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"It's fine. Just don't tell Matt," I said throwing my arm over his shoulder and we walked back to the hotel.