Lights, Cameras, Outsiders!

Chapter 37

LCO 37

"I really embarrassed myself today," Tommy said, placing his face in his hands.

"No you didn't," I said, putting my arm around his neck. I draped my blanket around both of our shoulders. It was still freakishly cold our tonight and because of the presents Matt gave me earlier, not even the cold could make me miserable.

"I did. Matt must think I'm a freak," he said.

"I don't know what Matt thinks of you but I'm sure it's not that," I said.

He sat up.

"Okay, look, Essie, I'm going to paint a picture for you here. You and Matt are the top of the food chain here. I am at the bottom. Matt is professional and has worked with Susie before and has worked on like four other movies. Okay, and then here's me, who was even rejected by the ABC after school specials. So you've worked on a movie before and Matt has too and you two have known each other before and dated and gone through stuff together and so it seems that you two are untouchable. I know when you think of the preppy kids, you think of them talking to anyone and they're comfortable. Well it looks like y'all can talk to anyone and they would light up, but if anyone tried to talk to y'all, it would seem out of place," he said.

"Tommy, this isn't high school. They're aren't cliques here," I said. He stared at me.

"Leif and Darren and Diane and Michelle are staying on the eighteenth floor. We're staying on the fourth," he said.

"Okay, okay, I mean cliques as in cliques in the gang you're with," I said.

"I still think I'm pretty aw-"

"Enough with this Matt is untouchable bullshit. You better get used to being around him because this is one long shoot and half the movie is about y'all's characters."

"But-"

"Matt, come here! Come here," I said as he was passing by, smoking a cigarette.

"What?" He said, walking up.

"You gonna think you and Tommy Are gonna get along and not be awkward as all get out?" I said.

"Yeah, sure," Matt put out his hand for Tommy to shake which he did.

"Sorry if I embarrassed ya today. I shoulda answered you straight up when you asked that," Matt said.

"No it's fine," Tommy said.

"No," Matt took a drag on his cigarette, "you asked a question, and I'll answer it. You asked what our love felt like, correct?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess," Tommy said.

"Being in love with this girl here is... Let me put it to you this way, loving her is essential. Having her not near me is not an option. Like she said, earlier, it's addicting."

"I'm not really getting this."

"Okay, people say this all the time but this is as real as you're gonna hear it: I love her each and every minute of my day. I cannot go a minute without thinking of her name, her face, her voice. Okay? When you become on the edge of obsessive and the thought of her is absolutely addicting, you've reached the highest achievement: love for them. And when they say the same things and become in sync with you and care for you the way you thought wasn't even possible, then you're IN love. See?" Matt said, staring him straight in the eye and smiling.

"Yeah, I get it," Tommy said.

"Cool. Now Dee Dee wants you for hair," Matt said. Tommy got up with a smile and left and Matt took his seat. I was in shock. I really had never heard Matt express that to anyone other me and he was so much not eloquent then where as he would talk to me.

"Jesus, Matt," I said.

"I thought you knew I loved you that much," he said, taking a drag on his cigarette.

"No..."

"Well I do. You're my cigarette, my fire that'll never go out."