Found My Sweetest First Love (MSFL 3) [COMPLETED]

t w e n t y - n i n e - special chapter

MOMO'S POV

I'm 30 and I've been married to Hobi for about a month now. It was a simple yet private wedding. We didn't want any grand preparations. We both decided on it.

Hobi is a celebrity and a lot of news agency wants to capture our moment together, but he put up strict guards, so that our wedding won't be on any news. He said that he doesn't like a lot of attention when it comes to his private life and I respect that. The only thing that I'm thinking of is why.

He took a vacation from his celebrity and showbiz duties for our honeymoon and vacation together. I know that there a lot of paparazzi around, trying to look for news on him. I can't blame them because they're just doing their jobs.

We're at the beach now and just enjoying our time together. We've been here since 4 PM and people are slowly leaving. I just want to do this thing with him alone. This kind of simple thing makes me exceptionally happy as long as I'm with the person that I love.

"How many kids do you like to have?" He asked me and snaked his hand on my shoulder. I sighed and smiled as I slowly place my head against his shoulder, too.

"Probably two." I answered.

"Two dozens?" I hit his chest, but it just made him chuckle. "I'm kidding, sweetie."

"Two kids are fine."

"I'd like to have kids as soon as possible." He told me which made me turn into stone, not literally. It made me petrify. I am seriously not focused on having kids at the moment since I am truly busy with my career in our dance studio. Dancing makes me happy in all ways, but the thought of having kids right away feels like I'm taking away myself from that happiness that I grew up with. "What do you think of that?" He asked and looked at me. I do not know how will I tell that to him. I do not know how will I say my gathered thoughts. He might not accept my decision.

I do not want to look into his eyes because whenever I look at those shiny diamonds, I can see his dreams. His dreams to have a family with me. His dreams to be a father. His dreams to see his grandchildren. I'm afraid.

When I agreed to marry him, the only thing that I thought of is that we're going to live with each other forever, just loving each other. That's it. I didn't think of having children. I was ready to marry him, but I am not prepared to give him kids.

"Honey?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you think of that?"

"We'll see." I answered. I saw him nod which totally made me afraid. It means that I gave him a glimpse of hope.

*

"Can you believe that?" Jeong asked. "After a lot of years, here we are, married to our husband and are having kids." Tzuyu and the others agreed with her. The marriage that I am most curious of is Chaeng's marriage. I thought that she'll be wed with Dino after all of their struggles and happiness together. "Since when did you come back from Okinawa, Momo?"

"Three days ago." I smiled. We're at Jeong's place. Nayeon can't go and so does Mina and Sana, tho. Dahyun didn't get to go because she said that she's pretty busy with something and Chaeyoung...well, it's been a long time since I last saw her.

"How's your honeymoon?" Jihyo asked and started poking me on my arm. She teasingly smiled which made us all laugh because of her silliness. Just because Namjoon proposed to her already, she's this bubbly again. They've been so many problems and break ups, yet they're engaged. Destiny gave them the future that they envision since high school. "Was it huge?" It made me blush when she said that.

"U-Uh--"

"Oh, she's blushing!" Jeong started clapping as she cackles from my reaction. Of all questions, why did Jihyo decided to ask me that?

"You'll be pregnant in no time." Tzuyu said as if she's so sure. I wanted to tell them a secret, but I don't think that they'll understand. "How many kids does Hobi wants anyway?"

"Give him ten twins!" Jeong laughed and so did Jihyo.

"That's twenty kids!" Jihyo reacted. They all laughed together, but this topic actually makes me feel uncertain and scared.

"Guys..." I called them. They all looked at me as if they're ready to hear whatever I'm going to say. "...I'll have to tell you a secret. Whatever secret was told here stays here, okay?"

"Sure. You can trust us." Tzuyu said. They all looked at me with such hopeful gazes.

I held my head low and closed my eyes tightly. "I'm taking birth control drugs." After what I've said, I heard nothing from them. When I raised my head, I saw their shocked faces. This is the kind of reaction that I expect after saying this secret. Of course, Hobi doesn't know this. I know that he has a full right to actually know this matter, but I'm just so afraid of what might happen to the both of us.

If he gets angry, it's all my fault, but he doesn't understand my side.

"What the hell, Jung Momo?" Jihyo whispered. As if on cue, their eyebrows crossed hard. "Since when?"

"After getting back from Okinawa, I started taking these meds." I said honestly.

"That's abortion." Tzuyu told me. I'm aware of what I'm doing, but...I don't know. I'm just so confused now.

"Why? Just why?" Jeong questioned.

"I want to focus on my career--"

"Then you should've told Hobi about that instead of stopping a life to be created." Tzuyu cut me. I could've done that, but whenever I'm with him and I tell myself that I should tell him about my thoughts, I just can't say it. "C'mon, don't be dumb this time, Momo."

"I guess I was just pressured by everything." I answered. They looked at me. I can tell that their eyes are saying their thoughts to what I'm doing. "Can you not tell him this?"

"We don't have any right to do that." Jeong said.

"It's a thing that the two of you can only sort out. We're just here to support whatever decision you'll make." Jihyo aswered as well. After what I've said, I feel like the aura became really heavy. We almost didn't talk about anything. We just kept on eating crumbs of bread and donuts.

Because of that, I told them that I'll go home now. Jihyo wanted to give me a ride home, but I said no. I know that they're probably angry at me for doing this thing.

*

I didn't expect to see our flat's lights open when I entered. I have never seen Hobi come home at such an early hour. When I saw him on our couch, watching a show and drinking some beer, I placed my bag aside and kissed him as a greeting. I thought that he'll smile or what, but he kept his straight face.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. He stared at me with dead eyes. It made my heart pound. The atmosphere feels so much heavy. It's suffocating me.

He didn't talk. Instead, he pulled out something from his pocket. I felt like my world crushed when he showed me the drugs. "What are these, Momo?" I couldn't answer him. I stood still and held my tears back. "Momo, answer me." His authoritative and desd serious voice became soft. "Why?" When I looked at him, his tears are now ready to fall from his eyes. It hurts me to see him hurt because of my own stupidity.

"H-Hobi..." I called him, but he wiped the tears on his face and stood up. "...H-Hobi..." I cried for his name, but he took his beer and walk past by me. He didn't even look back even though I'm sobbing behind his back. He went to our room and stayed there while I was left on our living room.

--*

I'm sorry for such lame + short chapter

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