anonymity was never an option

93: dean

"How does the upbringing of the Dashwood sisters relate to the lifestyle of Emma?" Dean looked up at Castiel from his notebook.

"Do you think I actually read either one of those books?" Cas blatantly stared at Dean.

"Not really, but sparknotes is a life saver. You should try at least half-assing it sometime."

"Haven't really had the time." He smirked back.

"Are you gonna at least guess?" Dean shook his head.

"They're all rich?"

"Sure. We can start there." Dean said tapping his pencil against his forehead, scanning the lines of his paper for another question.

"Give me an easy one..." Cas smiled, leaning back in his chair.

"Who wrote Pride and Prejudice?" Dean responded with a mocking tone.

"Uh... Mark Twain?"

Dean dropped his notebook onto the table, staring at Castiel with the bitchiest face he could. Cas bit his lip and smiled as he fumbled with the pen in his hands. Dean broke his face and smiled, looking down at the carpet before looking back up at his adorable boyfriend.

"You little shit. I know you know the right answer."

"I'm not stupid, this entire section is on Jane Austen, Dean. I think I get the pattern."

Dean licked his lips as he looked into his notebook again, and started flipping through the other page of notes he took on Friday.

Everything was silent for a minute. No one in the library spoke, no one rustled papers, no one dropped a book... and then he heard the front doors open, and a group of kids come in laughing.

Dean looked over to the door and quickly glanced at Meg, Lucifer, and Lisa, the trio that made as much noise as possible wherever they went.

He looked back down at his notebook again, hoping he could passively ignore his friends, and actually get Cas back on track.

"Alright, so do you remember what she said today about that one satire example?" Dean sighed reading over his barely legible handwriting.

For a second, he considered writing in uppercase letters like his father, but that would just be one more thing that made him just like John Winchester, the one person in the world who he didn't want to be.

When Cas didn't answer, Dean's focus darted back up to him, only to find his blue eyed boyfriend staring towards the front of the room.

"Cas..."

He could see the frustration in the other boy's face. The way his eyebrows furrowed, and the eyes below them filled with utter hatred. Hell, even his nose looked angry.

"Cas?"

He didn't even budge when Dean said it, his gaze just stayed lingering at the door.

"Castiel."

"What?" Cas snapped, turning his head back towards Dean.

"Hey..." Dean raised his hands in surrender. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Cas shook his head, looking down at the table. "Sorry, I just... it's nothing."

"Okay... you sure?"

"No..." He looked confused as he looked back up at Dean. "Can we leave?"

"We haven't even gotten through English yet, you really that desperate to quit..." Dean smiled tilting his head.

"Please. Dean."

Dean noticed Castiel's voice change. He was panicking. Why was he panicking? Had he said something? Was he stressed? Dean didn't know, but he could tell he was serious.

"Yeah... okay..." He nodded back, dropping the smile.

Cas practically threw his laptop into his backpack and barely even zipped it before standing up from his chair. Dean stacked his notebook on top of the textbook he borrowed and looked at Cas as he quickly slipped the bag onto his shoulder.

"Hey... slow down Cas... you're fine..." Dean said in a gentle tone as he stood up and grabbed the car keys from off of the table.

Dean shifted the keys onto the index finger of the hand that was holding his books, freeing up a hand so he could reach out to Cas.

"You okay?" He said with a hand on his shoulder as they started walking away from the table. "You're acting really weird, what's going on?"

Then Dean heard his name being called and footsteps behind him.

"Dean, hey wait up!"

He turned around slowly, bringing his hand off of Castiel's shoulder to adjust the books in his hand. He was met with one of his least favorite brunettes smirking at him.

"Hey Meg, we're kinda on our way out..."

"Oh no that's fine! I was just making sure Lisa told you about the party we're having at Luci's on Friday... you coming?"

"Uh yeah, sure we'll be there."

"Good." Meg looked from Dean to Cas and then back to Dean. "I'll let you guys go then."

Castiel never turned around throughout that entire conversation, making Dean so curious as to what the hell was going on.

Don't pry. Don't pry, Dean. That never went well with Sammy.

"Cas..." He spoke softly as he turned in Castiel's direction. "Um... are you hungry? Do you want that Chipotle we were talking about?"

"Sure." He half smiled looking up at Dean for a split second.

"Are you good, Cas?" Dean asked as they were walking towards the exit.

"I don't really want to think about it right now." He mumbled, avoiding eye contact with Dean.

"Okay." Dean let his eyes dart away from Cas, trying not to make him feel uncomfortable.

For a moment, Dean thought maybe he was mad at him, but he had no idea what for. He tended to over analyze things like that, but he never told anyone other than Sam... sometimes, and even then he just sounded stupid. He scanned every possible scenario in his head of all the things he could've said or done to make him mad. He came up close to none.

It wasn't until he felt Castiel's hand lingering around his that he knew it wasn't his fault. He looked down and took his hand, softly pulling him closer to his side. Dean didn't look at him, he just pushed the glass door open and pulled Cas along behind him.

Dean could feel a small amount of stress lift off of Castiel as soon as they left the building. He took a deep breath and held Dean's hand closer to him. Dean looked over to him, searching for a sign, but was met with his boyfriend standing there with a blank expression, almost like he wasn't even there.

However many times he would tell Dean that he was, the Winchester could tell from personal experience... Castiel was not okay.