Overcast Night Stars

11: Dark Within Forgiveness

Chapter 11- Dark Within Forgiveness

As they held hands, weakness started gaining strength. Alice took a few steps to sit in the nearest bench, gravity was pushing its way through her veins, blood was chilled. She didn't think that was possible. Fp followed close behind sitting next to her on the bench, turning to face her. He tried his best to open his mouth. He didn't know what to exactly say. There wasn't much he could say that would be this any easier for her. All he could do was be there for her, moral support. Just like he promised Betty and himself.

"You wanna escape town for a little while." Her voice wasn't normal. He looked over at her eyes. They weren't full of color almost like the color from her eyes  had been drained.

"Allie." She looked up from the ground. "We can't abandon the kids. Maybe when Betty gets better. We can take a trip to the beach." He suggested, kissing her cheek. She knew he was right. How could she even suggest just a stupid idea? Was it the pregnancy brain already getting to her? She palms her face with her hand, dropping her head into her hands, letting out a few little drops trickle down her cheeks.

"Oh god, I'm such an idiot." She yells softly to herself more then to anybody else. She could hear him scoot closer to her, his zipper clanging on the bench.

"No, your not. Your just very emotional and that's fine to be. You have been through so tremendous amount of trauma." His voice his so calm. She questions on why he can be so calm. Was he on some kind of pills? Her head shot, revealing her red puffy emotionally exhausted eyes. His eyes softened as he pulled closer with his arms.

"Then why do I feel so shitty. Is it something I'm doing? And how the hell are you so calm!" She snaps as she runs her hands over her face in frustration. She feel like everything since Fp went into prison has been coming undone. He didn't have an answer for her.

"No, it's not something your doing. And you think I'm calm?!" His voice raises a bit, drawing others to look their way. He shot them a glare and they stopped looking.

"Yes." That's all she could say. He looks over at her cupping her cheeks again with his hands.

"I'm not calm at all, Allie." There was that nickname that made her stomach swoon with happiness and electricity. " I'm scared all the time. When Jug isn't in my sight. I start to feel panicky inside, instantly having this pounded in my chest and ringing in my ears. And reading that note." He paused his throat becoming thick with his emotions. "Knowing she thinks of me as her father. It was a delight and a punch to the stomach. Part of me feels guilty for letting her down." He sighs as he rubbed his eyes. Her eyes shift over to him. She had no idea he was barely holding together.

"Fp, I had no idea." Her voice was still strained but a little more audible now. "It's not your fault." His head shoots up again, he clenches his fists.

"Yes it is!" He shouts, her eyes go wide. He softens his tone. "I knew about the comments and I didn't do anything about it." A stray tear rolls down his cheek.

"There was nothing you could of done, Fp." Her tone was calmer. His was rocky and shallow.

"Yes, there was." He lowers his voice to a whisper. "The night you invited me over for dinner a couple days ago..." She nods her head. He takes a breath." On the way back downstairs. I heard stuff being thrown in her room. I opened the door and I saw all the pictures were gone, glass shards were all over her carpet, Allie. She was having a panic attack. I dropped to her and calmed her down." She knew about the pictures but not the glass.

"Fp—" She was caught off by his voice.

"I could and I should of told you. If I had— she wouldn't be lying in that bed. It's all cause I was a coward." His cries broke her heart.