The Queen's Critique Chamber

⚜️Batch 2: SECOND

🐻Royal Critique work by : Saengiie_Noona
Title: SECOND
Written by: @BlackishMars

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🐻TITLE: "SECOND"
"It's either a number, or a position of a person"
I can say ~ Cute is a best description of your chosen title ,it really shows : How your story goes?, What it is all about and What it takes place in your story but it's not that unique, even the title is that unique ,It's still cute and really curious to read.

🐻BOOK COVER:
~I already feel the sadness and loneliness in this cover.. One girl who pretend to be happy though she was sad and now a lonely girl who choose to be herself alone.

If you want to choose a cover like this I might suggest you to change your Title like

I am : SECOND (WHY?, because by your chosen cover you only used one person, and as the story goes by
It all tackle her life and her position to this guy. so better well said change the title well as the cover.

Try our graphic shop they can help you there :).

🐻DESCRIPTION/BLURB:

So your description state a well start information about the deep story behind this. All good! and well precise!

But I suggest try to put change that into this one :👇

"Lahat ng nga pangalan natin at may kahulugan. Minsan nga pati ang mga nangyayari sa atin ay may koneksyon dito.

I am : Second

Not First, not top, not One, but Second to those thing.

Second is my name, and read my story to know the deeper meaning about my name.

~~~ Oh diba mas nailed it! Pero maganda din yung sayo suggestion lang naman yung akin baby :).

🐻PROLOGUE/BOOK CONTENT:

~Is all in one since one shot siya you don't need a prologue nor a chapters , All is quite okay just a few technicalities, can be seen but we can fixed that, after all I can feel pain and sad as the story goes by but...

I'm quite looking for something like anger, sad and more feels with this shot, not that it's not good but as you see you are quite lacking some feels pa.. Express it more pahabain mo pa yung tema  ng pagiging second niya, pahabain mo pa yung nararamdaman niya sa boy, at kuha ka pa ng konting hugot na parang pinaasa ..gets mo ? Hehehe

Pag one shot kase technically.. BEST SHOT ALL GIVE IN!!

-LAHAT NA NANDUN KAHIT MAGRAMBLE KA PA KAHIT HUMUGOT KA PA KAHIT ANO NA.. IPARAMDAM MO .
Ganun!

🐻DIALOGUE :
All is okay!, I did feel emotion with it but sabi ko nga nakulangan lang ng konting konti..

~I prefer kung iparamdam mo pa yung sakit ng pagiging second..
para talaga feel yung nga dialogue mo,
Humugot ka, magalit ka , iparamdam mo yung sakit na nararamdaman ng character mo ganun po dapat.
nabitin din ako sa story pero all in all maganda siya no worries just a few technicalities to change and all fine :).