The Queen's Critique Chamber

⚜️Batch 3: My Wife is a Childish Girl

Royal Critique work by:
@Saengiie_Noona
Story Title:👇
"My Wife is a Childish Girl"
Written by: @Uji1996

TITLE:
"My Wife Is A Childish Girl"
•your chosen title is cute and not bad but how you wrote it is kinda wrong. Try to change "Is" to "is" and "A" to "a" it's not necessary to capitalize each beginning of your word in your chosen title unless they are the beginning of the subject or verb/noun.

° Plus "based on what I read your story is really Funny and Cute its not boring and really full of adventures I like it no! I love it ❤. But if you don't mind try to change it like stating something near in your Description and story.

Like :
• "My Childish Wife is a Mafia Princess"
•"My Dominant Childish Wife" but still it's your choice😊.

BOOKCOVER: Your book cover is "Common" not that bad but "Common" I might suggest you to used some artist/or anime that you want or some kind of that na near sa characters mo.

I'm thinking na why not use a cute girl with doll and a knife in the other side or, a mafia couple but the girl maintain her childish side. -do you get me po ? Sorry if I'm kinda magulo.

But overall,

Fonts and Color are fine no problem or I suggest, try to ask some help in "OUR GRAPHIC SHOP :) " there's a lot of very creative and good graphic editor in our shop I know they can help you po :). That's all thank you po.

DESCRIPTION/BLURB:
" Hindi sa dahil isip bata ako,
Hindi ko na kayang makapatay ng tao."-Jaimee

-honesty and simplicity but nice teased.
Yan yung nakita ko, in this part I suggest you can add " plot or summary of your story." Or maybe a more thrilling teasing scene pa. By that you can make readers curious pa and expecting pa. But be careful in creating/redoing this part , don't forget your story goals and stay intact to your characters. Minsan kase.. Naiiba ang na sa description at iba din yung patutunguhan ng story kaya ang ending magulo yung story. gets mo po? - in this part I have no problem its still your choice if you want to add more or maintain this simplicity style. 😊

PROLOGUE:

Uhm "It's between Midst and Starting Scene" I mean "Sinimulan mo itong part na to sa part na gitna na. sila na at sa puntong to parang more on how their journey goes nalang ang magiging base ng story.

Unlike in other prologue:
They had " All begins here" which story shows how it all started includes some meet ups and beginning " or A throwback" which tells a part of story that happen after years or more, in which like the author use it as a lesson/or reminder why the story goes like that.

(Miyane for rumbling some stuffs here)

But this one is good!, no joke! well not that unique but cute. full of honesty and direct to the point agad.
You had a interesting line too which is kinda catchy and sort of funny kase "Childish theme nga pala na may action" so not bad. It just that sana pinahaba mo pa :).~ I'm impressed 😊