The Queen's Critique Chamber

⚜️Batch 3: Transient

Royal Critique Work by shnmiaaa
Story: Transient
Written by: VanillaAndLiquor

TITLE:

The title is short, simple yet unexpectedly intriguing. For an inquisitive person like me, losts of questions already formed in my mind. I mean what about transient? If I define this literally it would mean like it will just last for a short time. What is this broad of a story title has to do with the story? Napaisip talaga ako also upon knowing this is a mystery story. So over all, personally, I really like this title.

BOOK COVER:

The book cover is cool! Wala na akong ibang masabi. But as I look at it parang sa culprit 'yang mga paa na 'yan eh. (Lol)

DESCRIPTION:

Clear and direct to the point! Maayos n'yo po itong naisulat and syempre you've given us the sneak peak of what your story is all about. A building that disappeared? Nawala ba 'to nang bigla-biglaan? How? A mystery where the problem is needed to be solved. A culprit who seems to be not just a culprit and most importantly this description is also well written that I couldn't agree more. Maayos!

BOOK CONTENTS:

Sa tingin ko this story is really worth to be noticed.

I mean despite na this is so well-written but the fact that is this is much more of a decent story to read and invest time. A mystery story that makes sense as you read each chapters by. And to think that making a mystery story is really hard, I commend the Author's skills here. One thing I've noticed is that you write very long chapters. Be careful though since having long chapters can be a factor for a reader to skip parts and do selective reading. What could have been the reason for the culprit to take the watch? Bakit ang watch pa talaga na binigay ni Aldridge? Tapos hindi n'ya naman directly sinaktan si Emma. Why do I have a feeling that the culprit is just around the corner. Anyway, magaling po! Nadala po ako sa flow ng story.

CHARACTERS:

Character-wise! Aldridge  for me is so cheeky and tactless. Either way, I like his character! He seems to be the contrasting personality of Emma Babe. Lol. For Emma, I personally also love her character. The bad-ass and witty type of a girl. I understand her reaction though when she saw the culprit. Any girl might also have been scared but she was brave enough to actually remain on the scene. Leigh is just so adorable for me really! With Emma's personality she's perfect for her as a friend. Character development was also great. As each chapter goes by I can see little by little your character's personalities. Napahanga ako dito!

DIALOGUE:

Actually, as how I am impressed in your way in handling your characters it will truly reflect also in the character's dialogue and you also did a great work here! It's very obvious that you have a talent in writing.

TECHNICALITIES:

You're already great! You know what you're writing. Basic rules, punctuations, cues, tense, usage of terms, spelling, and even grammar on point. Wala na rin kung anong kadramahan o style sa mga chapters which I really like. It's just pure and clear writing. You're story has been written very well. No need to lengthen my opinions here. Maayos! Ang galing n'yo po talaga.

WRITINF SKILLS:

In terms of skills, If I'd be allowed to rate you it would be 10/10. I really suggest you to write maybe other kinds of genres. This might be the way for an undiscovered gem like you to be on the spotlight. I mean your skill is very good. Exquisitely amazing! And I think you aren't even using your full writer potential just yet. So yeah, I know you could easily attract readers if you'd make a story that is very interesting. With this writing skill of yours, writing a story could be a breeze.

Message:

Hello, thanks for choosing the Queen's Critique Chamber and me as your Critic. If you'd like something to discuss more with me please just comment inline.

Anyway, have a good day! Thank you for trusting.

P.S. Keep in mind that my critique is subjective and could vary in different perspective of individuals.