Captured ||Kylo Ren X Reader||

skippable A/N

You ever get that feeling when you really want to cry but you can't because your body literally does not have enough liquid left in it? Because that's how I feel right now.

It's currently 4:22 a.m. as I'm writing this, and I haven't been able to sleep. It's been twelve hours since X was shot.

I think I woke up around 5 p.m. Cos I was up so late writing and shit. But I woke up to like 20 missed calls, 27 texts, over 15 Instagram messages.

so obviously, I head over to Instagram first because p r i o r i t i e s and the first thing I see is 6ix9ines post about X's last messages to him.

I was honestly confused at first, so I checked my messages and all my friends had literally spam texted me about X being pronounced dead.

I obviously didn't believe it at first cos the guys a fuckin superhero like he can't just die right?

The police confirmed him dead. That's when the tears came.

Now despite what you may think, I rarely cry. Literally the last time I cried was when Carrie Fischer died back in 2016. But holy shit did I cry.

Funny thing is that I was listening to the entire "?" Album the night before caus I needed to get my ass to sleep. You can take it with a grain of salt, but I had hundreds of artists to choose from and I chose X. You can believe it or not, ion really care, but when I found out he died, it made me feel better.

Now my dad is a huge metal fan. Which is fine, but he completely despises rap and stuff. I remember he was so furious when he went through my music and listened to 6ix9ines 'Gummo' but he caught me crying, and he asked me what was wrong

So I told him, and he literally said

"Wonderful."

Of course he said it like deadass emotionless. But that shit stings. Like I don't think people get it. When you listen to somebody or you follow their career for months or years like I did with X, you can't just accept the fact that that person is gone forever. Of course, he never knew me, but I felt like I knew him because I followed his career.

There's been some shit about it all being fake but if it were fake it would have been denied. The police do not just fucking pronounce people dead if they alive. that's some bullshit.

and I know this isn't the place to vent about this kind of thing, but it needed to be said.

X, blood, you live it up up there. You show them angels whos running it. Love ya, man. I miss ya like shit, but if you're in a better place then that's all I need.

Rest In Peace, Jahseh. I'm sorry you didn't get to see your dreams come true. You inspired me and millions of others to just keep pushing through all the shit in our lives. You may not know it, but you saved so many lives just through your music. And ain't nobody gonna tell me different. Cause I experienced it firsthand.

Sleep tight, X. We miss you.