The Reasons Why {Jimin}

Reason 37

"I'm sorry?" The priest asked in a low voice thinking he had heard me wrong and I wish he had.

"I can't marry you Jimin" I said louder making the people in the room gasp. I placed my hand on my head taking of the veil and placing my flowers in my other hand down on the ground.

I turned to the people sitting watching all of this. My mother looked at me with fire in her eyes. My father had a sympathetic look in his eyes. People around us had their eyes wide and their mouths open down to the floor.

"What do you think you're doing?" My mother asked with the anger in her voice filling the big room we were standing in.

"I'm doing something for me" I said drying the tears off my face.

"Jimin there are so many reasons why I love you, and want to be with you for the rest of my life" I said turning to looking at a heart broken man standing besides me with his eyes down at the floor.

"How you cook for me everyday, how good you are to me, how you always make sure I'm happy everyday" I said smiling at him but he didn't see that. His eyes were still glued to the floor. I couldn't blame him.

"Then what's the problem" Jimins mothers voice echoed trough the room asking me the question many probably wondered.

"The problem is that I don't know myself" I said looking at her with kind eyes not wanting to force information on her anymore.

"I thought these last months would make me ready for this day, but they didn't, I need more than three months to get to know someone and decide if I want to marry them" I explained with the tears overflowing in my eyes again but this time because it was so freeing saying all of this out loud. 

"I'm twenty three. I haven't even been out of my town since I was six. I want to get to know myself before I share myself with anyone" I explained.

"My whole life has been planned out for me, I no longer what that" I said looking at my mother no longer caring if she would be mad at me or not. I don't think she could get more mad than she was right in this moment.

"I want to have a few broken hearts before finding the one, I want to live everyday not knowing what I may do the next day"

"And I can't do that with the life you've created for me" I finally let out looking at my parents who were probably hurt by my words but they needed to know how I felt.

"Jimin" I said turning to him finally gaining eye contact.

"I love you so much. I wish you the best. thank you for everything you've done for me. I hope we can meet again, in a different way than we've done now ." I said gaining a weak smile filled with sadness from him.

"I hope you find a wonderful person to spend your life with" I said with a warm smile. Those words very the most truthful things I had said in my entire life.

"I'm sorry mom and dad for letting you down today, but I need to go out and find myself, because you made me loose myself before I even became a person" I said as I stepped down from where I had been standing. Without hesitation I walked back down the aisle feeling hundreds of eyes burning into me. This would definitely be a weeding they weren't going to forget any time soon. The closer to the door and the exit of all this I got, the more free I could feel myself become. Even if it was sad leaving Jimin behind like this, it was something I needed to do for myself and my being. I pushed the door open not turning back, not wanting to see what I was leaving behind.

I continued out the building taking a deep breath seeing the sun high in the sky and the summer being brighter than ever.

"Carmen wait" a voice said behind me, but it wasn't the person I expected to come running after me.

I turned to see Tae coming running after me.

"That was, I mean, wow" he breathed stopping in front of me.

"I know" I smiled shyly.

"Let me drive you out of here" he said looking at me with a confident smile.

"Thank you" I let out.

I had no idea where I was going now, or what I may have just ruined for myself but I knew that I didn't care. I didn't want everything to be planned out for me. I wanted to wonder what I was going to next and feeling like the options were endless. I was ready for a new life.

A/N
How inspirational right 😅👌🏻