The Reasons Why {Jimin}

Reason 21

I watched myself in the mirror for a few more seconds feeling and seeing the tears run down my cheeks. I started to feel like I was suffocating in the dress. I couldn't catch my breath anymore. I desperately ripped the dress of falling against the wall of the changing room, catching my breath.

"Is everything ok in there?" The blond girl asked trough the door while I sat on the floor on the other side of the wall crying. I cleared my throat hoping she wouldn't hear I was crying.

"Yes I'm fine" I responded standing back up on my feet.

"Come Out and show us when you're ready" she said. I could hear in her voice that she was smiling excitingly.

I had to get out of here.

I quickly pulled my jeans up my legs again, pulling my shirt over my head and grabbing my jacket while putting my shoes back on. I swung the door open where both my mother and the blond girl turned to look at me.

"What happened?" My mom asked startled.

"I-I Just" I mumbled rushing trough the store seeing the door to the store and feeling myself wanting to sprint to it.

"What is going on with you?" My mom questioned annoyed. I glanced over at her before running out of the store. As soon as I was outside I ran as fast as I could away from the store and down the street. My mom yelled my name multiple times behind me which only made me run faster. I had no idea where I was going or how to explain this later but I knew I had to just get away for a while.

After a while I ran out of energy to run and I ended up walking. I stopped when I reached a beach. It wasn't a very nice beach. It was mostly rocks and no sand, and fish boats stood along the water. I sat down on some of the bigger rocks looking out on the sea, wishing I could steal one of the boats and sail across the sea to the next land. It was only a daydream that I knew was impossible. I was stuck in an apartment with a guy I didn't understand my feelings towards.
I reached for my phone in my pocket. I had multiple missed calls from my mom and dad but I didn't want to talk to any of them. None of them understood.

I went into my contacts scrolling down the name I felt was the right one to call.

I called without answer for a couple of seconds before I finally got an answer I needed.

"Hi Carmen, what's up?" His familiar and kind voice said trough the phone. I felt more calm already.

"Hi Tae, I just needed someone to talk to" I explained feeling sadness fill me once again.

"Sure, What happened?" He asked more worried in his voice this time.

"Well, I was at my dress fitting today" I started with tears already overflowing in my eyes just by the thought.

"And?" Tae said waiting for more information.

"Well, I totally fell apart in the changing room, crying" I sobbed into the phone.

"I couldn't breathe"

"I'm so sorry Carmen" Tae said shaky in his voice.

"Did you finish the fitting?" He asked. I shook my head pretending he could see that though the phone.

"No" I said quietly.

"That's a bummer" he said trying to lighten the mood. I let out a small laugh.

"I ran out of the store" I said with a small laugh at the end of my words.

"Where are you now?"

"At some beach" I explained.

"Should I come and get you and drive you home?" He suggested.

"That would be great" I responded with a smiled.

"There isn't many beaches in this town so I'll probably find you quickly, just sit and wait" Tae said. I responded with a quick Sure before hanging up the phone.

Maybe I should have called Jimin instead, but it felt easier to talk to Tae about this. I knew that Jimin and I had gotten better at talking and living with each over the last few days, but some things he didn't need to know at first. I also thought maybe Tae would understand it better somehow.

Shortly after our call Tae's car parked by the beach. Tae came running up and yelled out my name for the whole beach to hear. I got up from the rock I was sitting on and ran towards him. We got in his car and he started to drive me home.

"Why did you run?" Tae asked suddenly bringing up the topic again.

"Why didn't you just say you couldn't do it?" He questioned further.

"I don't know. I just took one look at myself and I didn't feel like myself. It wasn't right." I explained looking at him as he had his eyes on the road.

"I felt so panicked thinking I was going to do something like that I just freaked out" I said pouring out my heart to Tae like I always did.

"I guess I ran because that's what I do best" I sighed moving my eyes back on the road like Tae.

"Maybe next time I can join you, so you don't freak out" Tae suggested.

"I that would be great" I said smiling at him.

We arrived at the apartment building. I thanked Tae for the talk and the drive home. Tae drove off and I stood outside the building with mixed emotions. I was excited to see Jimin since I hadn't seen him since morning but I was also nervous of going back to my life.

I got into the elevator making my way to the apartment. I walked slowly towards the front door. The closer I got the more I wanted to run the other way. I guess it's just that the apartment reminds me of the life I'm going to live and be forced to live.

I unlocked the door and made my way inside. I kicked off my shoes and hung my jacket up in the hallway. I was on my way to my room when Jimin stumbled out of the living room.

"It was you" he said with a smile.

"How did it go today? Was the dress nice? He asked sounding happy. I had such a bad feeling inside of me. I didn't want to lie but I just couldn't bring myself to say what really happened today.

"It went great. The dress was perfect" I lied with a fake smile across my face. It had never felt worse lying to someone like it was lying to Jimin.

A/N
(Remember to vote!)