Where are you now? (Keith x Reader) [discontinued]

33|| The Pain I Left

"Where's Jared?"

Lance looked at the ground, hesitant to answer.

"Well... he.. um..."

Allura stepped in. "What he means to say is, Jade, he's been very unwell since we thought you died. At first he seemed fine, more determined to win even... but he's been getting more and more discouraged. He won't even come out of his room anymore. He won't eat, he won't do anything."

I nodded. I had known Jared would be the most upset by my sacrifice, but if he seemed fine then... I didn't know what to say. "Take me to him."

We said our goodbyes to Lotor, and left Allura to work with him. Kekini flew Blue back with the rest of us back to the castle, which wasn't too far away. As soon as we landed, I jumped out of the lion and sprinted towards Jared's room, slowing down as I approached.

I knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again. Still nothing.

"Jared? Can you open the door?"

He would have to recognize my voice, wouldn't he? I gulped, getting desperate.

"Jared? It's me, Jade! I-I'm alive. Can you open the door so we can talk?"

Nothing. After a few more attempts, I was beyond worried. I slipped my fingers in between the crack of the door and started forcing it open. I was actually surprised, it wasn't as hard as it was before. Was my Altean super strength kicking in? When I opened the door enough to slip through, I did so, careful not to let my tail get caught. I looked over to the bed where I expected Jared to be sitting.

My eyes widened when I saw him. He was much thinner, dark circles under his eyes, and a slight stubble on his chin. That wasn't the worst part though. He didn't do anything to react. He sat there, staring at the floor, no expression on his face. He wasn't alive. Tears threatened to escape my eyes when I saw him. Was I the cause of this. I sat in front of him, making him look at me.

"Jared? JARED?! Jared, say something! Jared, please! Please..." I sobbed. The tears came fast and continuously. I kept pleading his name, and wrapped my arms around him, crying into his bony shoulder. I was so sure he'd be alright when he saw me. I guess some wounds are just too deep to fix.

I sat there for what felt like forever, until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up, expecting to see Jared smiling at me, but after turning around, I saw that it was Lance. He gave me a sympathetic look, and his eyes were rather misty.

"H-He helped everyone through this, b-but when we had recovered, he started shutting everyone out. He stopped talking to anyone two weeks after you died, he stopped training a month after, he stopped eating about a week ago. We're surprised he's even alive," Lance cried. "He stayed strong until we were, and then... then this happened."

Lance held me in his arms, and we cried together. Jared wasn't alive. Sure, his heart was beating, but he died on the inside. Literally. 

*** 

I got a fork and plate from the kitchen, and went to the food goo machine. After filling it with goo, I walked to Jared's room, not thinking, only listening to my footsteps echoing through the corridors. I opened the door to his room, and saw the same Jared, staring at the same wall, with the same blank face. Trying not to cry, I put on a smile as I entered the room, trying to pretend as though nothing was wrong. I started telling him about my day, maybe he heard me, maybe not. I just wanted him to hear my voice.

It had been three weeks, and Jared hadn't made much progress.

"Hey Jared," I said, pulling up a chair and sitting down. I put the plate of goo on my lap. "Today was pretty normal, I guess. Kekini says she misses seeing you at the table, she says you would always make jokes when I was gone. Everyone misses seeing you. Do you want to eat? I brought this for you."

Slowly but surely, I started feeding him the goo, and he didn't spit it out like yesterday, thankfully. He swallowed, and I got another spoonful, talking about things that didn't matter, but just talking to talk. Eventually he ate the entire plate, which surprised me. I smiled at him, glad that I could get him to eat.

"It was nice talking to you. I'll be back later, okay?" I said, and gave him a kiss on the forehead. I took the dirty plate and walked outside. My breath quivered when I left the room. I hated seeing him like that, but at least he seemed to be doing better. I wonder if this was what he felt when Keith left. Seeing me so sad, so empty. That just reminded me of why I had to help him. We were friends... lovers... I didn't know what we were, but we cared for each other.

I brought the plate back to the kitchen to wash it, but when I walked in, I saw Hunk washing dishes from lunch. He didn't look up as I entered, but he still knew it was me.

"How's he doing Jade?"

"Better. I actually got him to eat today," I said, trying to sound cheerful. Who was I kidding? There was nothing cheerful about this. He wasn't going to get better, I was giving myself and others false hope.

"That's good," Hunk replied. "Here, give me that, I'll wash it."

"Thanks," I handed him the plate. "Hunk?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you honestly think Jared will get better?"

Hunk sighed, and turned off the water. "Honestly, I don't know. I know he helped you out and everything when Keith left, but his state is much worse than yours was. I do think it's possible, but just not right now."

I sighed. "Thanks Hunk."

He smiled at me. "Hey, my grandmother used to tell me that anything is possible, you just have to have a positive mindset. Just keep at it, you aren't the type of person to give up, and neither is Jared."

I smiled and walked out. I decided to go to the training deck, where Keith and I would always train together. I hadn't been there it what felt like forever. It definitely brought back memories, that's for sure. I walked over to the weapons closet, grabbed an Altean broadsword, and just stared at it. I didn't really feel like training, but I was bored.

"Start training level fifteen," I said. Two robots came at me, and I easily beat them with one stab. I threw the sword in frustration. Why was the world so unfair? Why did this have to happen to Jared, the sweet boy who did nothing to deserve this! I picked up my sword and started the next level.

"DAMN THIS!" I yelled, swinging my sword with each word. "DAMN HAGGAR! DAMN THE GALRA! DAMN THIS WAR!"

I knew I had killed all three robots with the first three swings, but I was still angry. I stabbed my sword into the ground. This shouldn't have happened. This was my fault! My fault that Jared is like this! It was stupid to take a risk like that, to sacrifice myself over my damn pride! Damn it, damn it, damn it!

I sat down on the floor, glaring daggers at it, when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

Lance was standing there, a grin on his face.

"Jade, you gotta come see this."

<><><>

Hey guys! Sorry if updates start slowing down, I'm working on the new book! I want the first part to come out today, but we'll see! It might take a while, since I'm on vacation. And I also have to think of a new plot entirely, but I have a few ideas in mind, so writing it should be fun!

See you in the next chap!

-Moon